Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Monday, September 7, 2009

Blog of Awesomeness- For Teacher

(First of all, I am borrowing the term "awesomeness) from my friend Brian who seems to have made it his word of choice this summer because there really is no other way to describe this blog!)  
It's Not All Flowers and Sausages  

http://itsnotallflowersandsausages.blogspot.com/  

I have discovered this amazing blog by a teacher who has no problem speaking her mind and voicing her opinions on the comings and goings in her school. It's nice to know that someone understands and seems to deal with similar problems and situations as I hear from colleagues all the time. Not to mention that she is pretty funny, I'm talking hilarious!!! The author of the blog just published a book as well that I have added to my "must read" list.  
Here are some short excerpts from her blog to help convince you to read it!  


"An Open Letter to Staples"- Thursday, August 20th 
Why must our relationship be so contentious? So fraught with emotion? Longing? Mistrust?  
Year after year, you taunt me during my time of rest with back-to-school commercials that seem to appear earlier and earlier each summer. Don't you know that these commercials, while humorous to many, only serve to remind me of the hundreds and hundreds of dollars soon to leave my wallet? I can't count the number of times I have been reclining on the couch with a fruity, cool, umbrella topped drink, happy to engage in utter mindlessness (read: Golden Girls and What Not To Wear reruns) when your commercial (read: cruel reminder) pop up on the screen and my state of zen is disrupted by visions of school drama to come.  
I feel like we keep trying to break up, but can't quite make it stick. 
Every time I think I'm through with you, you lure me back with promises of Big Savings for Teacher Appreciation Day. Come in now! Get your free tote! Filled with goodies! We appreciate what you do! Lies. All lies. Because I DO come in, I DO ask for the free tote and every time, EVERY SINGLE TIME you tell me I have the wrong date. Suddenly, I'm all dressed up with no place to go. Even my cries of, "I checked online and it said today was my day!" don't seem to phase you. With a cool, "that must be the date for another location" you dismiss me, toss me aside.  
I hate myself for it, but I keep coming back. Is it because I'm too lazy to find a replacement? Too used to your ways? Complacent? I don't know.  
There are just enough good times though, just enough for me to fool myself that you are the one for me. Like today. Convinced I had the date correct, I came back to you and as my eyes adjusted to your fluorescent lighting I saw it. Your gift to me. Your apology.  
A brightly colored mix-and-match assorted paper clip stand. Mix. And. Match.  
There were various sizes of containers to choose from which could be filled with big paper clips, small paper clips, animal shaped paper clips, colored paper clips, SHINY paper clips....whatever I wanted. Whatever. I. Wanted. (sigh) 

I love you Staples. I just can't seem to quit you. 
Love, Mrs. Mimi 

"Thanks A Lot Calvin Klein"- June 11th, 2009  
Today I went on a field trip with my friends. If you are a faithful reader, you are amazing. AND, you also know about my issues with field trips based on the ghosts of Horrific Field Trips Past that continue to haunt me. However, I am dedicated to my calling, and therefore, continue to subject myself to that yellow school bus, public bathroom emergencies and other potential disasters.  
On this gray, gloomy and God-why-isn't-the-year-over-yet day, nudity struck before we even got to the museum. Now, I had a run in with Field Trip Nudity last year, but for some reason, it keeps coming back to bite me on my (clothed) behind. We're rolling along on the bus when we get stuck in a bit of traffic. As I chat with a fellow colleague, an uproar spreads across the vinyl green seats, followed by intense laughing and cat calling.  
Little kids cat calling? (is something you might ask incredulously)  
Yes, little kids cat calling.  
At a Lady Ga Ga poster. In which she is essentially wearing only pasties and a frizzy hair-do. (I would find the image and upload it here, but am not going to for several reasons. 1) I don't know how to do that. 2) I think the image is permanently burned into my brain and I am trying to get it to go away and 3) I have a feeling that the regular readers of my blog aren't chomping at the bit to see her and her little tassels...am I right or am I left?)  
As the bus pulls away from the Boobs, I think we might be out of the woods. But no, there's more. I am alerted to a Calvin Klein ad which stretches the width of an entire building and depicts a young, very muscular man as he evidently begins to, um, pull his pants down? I mean, good for you Mr. Model, but really? There are small children here who definitely don't need to ponder what you have on under your Calvins.  
This is the point where I begin to desperately search through my Teacher Bag for some Advil, or my travel coffee mug, or a whistle to divert their attention.  
Thank goodness the field trip was fabulous. But on the way home, don't you know we took the same route and stopped outside the exact same images? Of course we did. I wouldn't have it any other way. And as I watched these images literally push all their recently acquired knowledge out of their little heads, I wondered what they will say when their parents ask about the highlight of the trip today...  
Although really...am I any better?

0 Thinks and Thoughts of Others:

Last Words...

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe