Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Date Night

My husband took me out to see Wicked last night and then for a great steak dinner. The tickets were purchased a few months back as my birthday present and I have been looking forward to it for months. Even though I still feel a mounting pressure at work and here at home to get everything done and have everything it its place, last night was exactly what I needed.

I had fun with my husband. I relaxed and let go of all the other worries I have and had fun.

It was great.

It just about 2 months we will have a baby here in our home, in our lives, and in our hearts. From everything I have heard from friends and family nothing is going to ever be the same again. I am excited for the baby to come and to join our lives. We have a date set to get maternity photos done, I have 2 baby showers in the next few weeks and our house is going to start filling up with baby stuff.

I am very nervous that my anxiety isn't going to go away before the baby comes and that I am going to go into motherhood a nervous wreck. The good news is that report cards are due in a week or so and that will be off my plate, but my very real concern is that I am going to continue to be anxious and feeling so overwhelmed. This isn't like me and I am hoping that this is all stemming from the crazy hormones in my body due to the pregnancy.

I am naturally a pretty confident person and this whole pregnancy- switching jobs thing seems to have thrown me for a loop.

I am so excited for my baby, I love my job, I am so happy that I switched schools and grade levels.  Now just to get back to my usual confident self.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Lost: Inspiration and Motivation


I feel like I have lost my mojo.

I barely seem to read anymore.

I rarely write on my blog (and feel guilty about it everyday).

I am teaching less than stellar lessons to my Grade 4's.

Is this a pregnancy thing, or a fall rainy-day weather thing? Am I lost for good?

Where does one go to find inspiration?

I am feeling less like me everyday that I am pregnant. Nothing fits well. I am never comfortable.

I still have two months to go.

Le sigh.

I used to be able to get so much done in a day. SO. MUCH. People marvelled at my ability. Co-workers were envious of my multi-tasking skills. My husband just sat back and tried to stay out of my way.

Now, I am in bed at 8:30 (okay, I lie 7:30). I can barely walk the dog around the park once without wanting to die. Shopping holds no appeal for me because nothing will fit and even if it does I will be so tired and sore at the end of the day that I will wonder if it was worth going at all.

To make matters worse, I have become a complainer and am forcing all of you to read this (although really, you may have stopped by now, I would have).

So, I am search of some motivation. A bright, shiny star that will make me want to get up off my couch and get stuff done again. Got a story that can put a smile on my face? PLEASE, PLEASE share. And please tell me this is a temporary, pregnancy induced feeling that will go away?

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Random Thoughts of a Pregnant Grade 4 Teacher

So many thoughts have been swirling around my head these days. None of them really have any substance but I thought I would share anyway.

1. The women at my new school are keeping knee-high boot makers in business. Most of them wear a different pair everyday, for 5 days. I enjoy fashion as much as the next girl but this trend has lasted long enough and I don't think it should be employed every single day.

2. I over heard a conversation between two of my Grade 4 boys yesterday that cracked me up.
Student A: "You know what I wish?"
Student B: "What?"
Student A: "I totally wish that wishes actually came true."
Student B: "I know! I totally agree."

They were discussing this topic in compete seriousness during during French class. It made me smile.

3. Pregnancy makes me dream weird and crazy things.

4. I am so glad that I can drink coffee again.

5. Friends warned me that I would hear all sorts of crazy comments while pregnant. Yesterday was picture day so of course I dressed it up a little more than usual. A co-worker complimented me and said that it was nice to see me in maternity clothes. I replied that I always wear maternity clothes (being practically 7 months pregnant and all) and she said that she thought I had just been wearing big clothes.

Do people think before they speak anymore?

6. Having friends at work is an awesome thing. I was worried about moving to a new school and not knowing anyone but I have really found some great people that I enjoy working with.

7. Baby clothes are going to bankrupt me....they are just too cute.

8. I don't care what other people say, my dog will always be my baby too. I love him. A lot.

9. I really like when my mom visits. I wish she lived closer.

10. I am finally feeling on top of things at work. It's a nice feeling and it's just in time to start report cards!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Social-Political Comments on a Childhood Favourite

Do yourself a favour...go to Beta Dad and read this post.  As a former English major this type of analysis of the written word tugs at my heart strings. As an over-tired, 7-month pregnant Grade 4 teacher who had a 2 hour staff meeting today it put a huge SMILE on my face.

If you love "The Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carlyle you will LOVE this post. Check it out.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Super Woman??

I have always been the type of person that gets stuff done. I can multi-task with the best of them and accomplish many things in a day, or even an hour! I'm not bragging, it's really one of my only talents (just ask my mom, I sing like a dead cat fighting it;s way out of a bag). Being organized, being efficient and getting stuff done has always been a skill I could rely on.

Then I got pregnant...

Now I feel like everything takes me twice as long to do, and it usually involves a nap in the middle. Laundry goes days with out being done. Dishes sit in the sink. I never make the bed (to be fair, I never really did before either)...but everything is starting to feel so incomplete and undone.

Is this a nesting symptom of pregnancy?

At school I feel like I am running to catch up all the time. I know that a big part of that is because I switched to a new grade and am teaching a whole whack of subjects that I have to plan for, but at the same time I have done that before (umm, last year?) and have never felt this overwhelmed. I do not feel like I am as a good a teacher as I used to be.

And I wonder, what will happen when the baby comes?

I feel like I must take on the responsibility of doing everything myself. I have tried asking my husband to do some stuff but his responses are usually not-so positive and then I feel guilty for asking. Is it really my responsibility to make sure everything gets done around the house? We both work a full day currently, and then I usually come home with planning or marking, or both do. Should I also be in charge of making dinner, cleaning the kitchen, laundry, the dog and various other household chores? Don't get me wrong my husband is a wonderful man that helps out, but he rarely does it with a smile and never of his own choosing.

What will it be like when the baby is here?

I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed already...does it get any better?

Monday, October 11, 2010

It's Monday...What Are You Reading?

This meme is hosted by Sheila at Book Journey

Currently Reading:

The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson

Recently Finished Reading:

A Rose for the Crown by Anne Easter Smith

Planning to Read Next:
I am not sure where my reading will take me next. I have a few review books I need to finish for the school board, and I haven't made the trip down to the library since school started. It's going to be a surprise!!

Happy Thanksgiving and other rambly thoughts

It's the weekend of thanks up here in the Great White North (and no it hasn't snowed yet, it was actually 24 degrees yesterday....nice and warm).

I like that Canada's Thanksgiving is in October. It makes it a holiday all on it's own. I think that I would feel too smushed into Christmas if Thanksgiving was celebrated at the same time as the Americans have theirs. However, I have never celebrated Thanksgiving in November so maybe I  am just making things up! Any thoughts on this?

This year our Thanksgiving was spent with my in-laws. We went up on Saturday morning, spent the day and the night and then left after dinner on Sunday. In the past we have gone up on Friday night and stayed until Monday, but this year my husband has been very sick with a cold leading up to the holiday and I am hugely pregnant so we felt this might be a better option. My in-laws have a great, big old farmhouse but they also have a great, big family so the bedrooms get filled up quickly. We always get regulated to the small sewing room if there is a lot of company staying. This is fine under normal circumstances but a pregnant lady and a large man do not fit well in a single bed!!

My husband is now trying to eke out the last few days on golf before winter hits. He went on Saturday and is heading back north again today to meet up with the male members of his family. I have the entire day stretching before me here at home....alone. And I love the thought of it. I am going to plan my science and social studies unit for school and hopefully actually get ahead. I have never felt quite so disorganized and overwhelmed as I have this school year. Maybe it was the pregnancy, maybe it was the complete change in age group I am teaching, maybe it was the change in schools, maybe it was the addition on an entirely new subject to my schedule this week? What ever the reason....I have been feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

Hence the lack of sorry! I have a plan to try and do better!

Once I get my Science and Social Studies units under control, then I can look at French and Language. I would much rather have things planned in advance and be able to tweak them later than have to plan each day's lessons the night before as I go. And I think I will be the same way with the baby when she arrives.

I have already started to organize the closet and after next weekend when the nursery is all painted I think the real nesting will start to happen. So far, my time and thoughts have been so consumed with work that I haven't been able to give a lot of attention to the baby's room and what is needed. But when all the planning is done and out of the way it'll be all baby, all the time. I have started to look into maternity and newborn photography so that's pretty exciting. I have been buying some small things here and there that I would like to have for the baby, and my showers are creeping up on me in the beginning of November. Before lone this baby will be here!!!

Can't wait.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

So I Wanted Everything to Be Finalized...

I wrote awhile back about how overwhelmed I was feeling due to the fact that so much of my schedule at school was till up in the air and unknown. Well, be careful what you wish for.

I had discussed with my principal about teaching French this year, which was totally fine with me. I like teaching French and if you have more than one class it's less planning overall. I told my principal that if I was going to teach one class of french I would rather teach all three Grade 4 classes that are in my school. This would mean that I would have to give up teaching either Science or Social Studies, or perhaps both. When I got my schedule I discovered that I only had my own french...which means not only have I added a subject but I didn't lose anything. So here's what I am now PLANNING, teaching and assessing:

Language Arts (Reading, Writing, Oral Communication, Media)
Social Studies

Wow, eh....I did however, lose Art from my schedule. If we put that in perspective, I lost 2 Art periods every 10 days, and gained 7 French periods. Fun, right?

So now I am knee deep in planning and organizing. Can't wait. At least it's only 3 more months!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Be Careful What You Wish For...

More on this later!

Friday, October 1, 2010

Things that Type A/ OCD People Don't Deal Well With

I have never been good at "going with the flow". As a child I used to make lists, list of my toys, lists of games I like. My mom says I could do perfect hospital corners when making my bed by the time I was  4. I like to make plans weeks in advance. I am not spontaneous. I hate not knowing what's coming next. I need to be able to double check, and triple-check everything. I get anxious.

And so....the situation at my new school which is still undergoing major transitions and influx of students in thus:

1) 5 students were removed from my Grade 4 class to day to go to a Grade 3/4 split because we have too many students in each class

2) There will be 9 new staff members starting at my school on Monday

3) We have a new duty schedule for the 4th time this year (in 4 weeks)

4) I have been told that I might be teaching French, maybe one class, maybe 2 classes, maybe all the classes....or maybe I will keep Science and Social Studies....maybe

5) We were told we would get schedules today by the end of school for Monday....that didn't happen

6) On Monday we are sticking to the old schedule and, hopefully, getting a new schedule for Tuesday...which could involve me teaching French with a days notice

Oh yeah, and I am pregnant.

This week has been a ride. To say the least.

Last Words...

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe