Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Friday, December 3, 2010

8 days

I have 8 days left of work....and then that's it for an entire 8 months.

8 days. wow

I am only taking 8 months off with the baby because:

a) I want to go back to work in September and have a fresh start with my class rather than try and take over in the middle

b) My husband if going to do the last 4 months of mat/pat leave so it's not like I am leaving the baby with a stranger

c) It makes the most financial sense

But only 8 days?? Wow. The longest I have ever been off work (if you discount school and university- because I did waitress all the way through) have been my summers off from teaching. However, I did work at camp for a couple of summers and have usually done summer school as well.

So I would say...maybe this is the longest break since I began my working life at the young age of 15. (yeah McDonalds!)

I am really not sure I am cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. Now, before everyone jumps all over me I KNOW I WILL HAVE LOTS TO DO WITH THE BABY. Believe me, everybody and their dog likes to jump in a tell me exactly what my life is going to be like when the baby comes. But I think we've had this conversation before....

Why I say this is that I have been a nanny 3 times before. For young children. Who can't talk. (And yes I know being home with my child will be different) I started to go a little stir-crazy. I started to talk to myself.

I am also very career driven. My husband and I had a discussion about the fact that of day-care became cost prohibitive he would be the one to stay home. No question about it.

So I guess what all this rambling boils down to is that a part of me is looking forward to being done work because I am tired, sore, achy, etc. I want the baby to be here. I want to meet her and be able to cuddle her....

But at the same time I am really nervous about missing work. The energy I get from my students. The joy i have from being intellectually stimulated and constantly learning new strategies to make me a better teacher. I guess I will just have to focus all that into being a great mom.

Now, if I could just work on this whole sleeping thing! (did I mention that it's 5am and I have been up for almost an hour?)

1 Thinks and Thoughts of Others:

SB said...

we should message each other at those ungodly hours!

Last Words...

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe