So, after 4+ weeks of staying home with Avery I am starting to feel pretty confident in my ability to handle all this and we even took a short trip to the mall yesterday...just us!
However, I am feeling like my ability to converse with adults is slipping away. I mean, I spend all day talking to a) no one, or b) talking to a 4 week-old (4 weeks! can you believe it). I have never felt that I was particularly good at small talk and I tend to get very shy and nervous when I am in a large group of people. A new friend commented awhile back that she was surprised at how quiet I was when there are lots of people around because it was so different than how I am one on one. I am worried that after 8 months of mat leave I will be even worse!
My days so far have consisted on talk shows, the Food network, HGTV, or watching shows I PVR'd from the night before. I have been reading still, OF COURSE, but not at the same pace I used to. In between all that I am changing diapers, nursing and rocking my lovely baby to sleep. Not exactly scintillating conversation, right?
I think part of my problem stems from the fat that I have never lived alone, I have never really spent more than one month in the summer off work (I have taught summer school or gone to camp) and I have always been busy. I am, however, a bit of a loner and I did spend a lot of time in the evenings and on weekends by myself but that was always after a long week of teaching and being around people.
I guess it all boils down to me trying to figure out who I am on mat leave. What are my interests now? What will excite me during the day...other than cuddling with my baby, of course?