Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Loop de Loop

I am a fully functioning adult.

I make decisions on my own all the time. Everyday in fact.

I am in control of my own life, where it has been and where it is going.

Yet, I do not control when my daughter wants to eat, wants to sleep, wants to play, etc.

Or in the case of last night, when my daughter doesn't want to eat! According to our routine of the last few days, at 6pm when Avery woke up she would be ready to eat, have her bath and settle down to sleep for night. However, as we tried to give her the bottle she screamed bloody murder as if we were attempting to hurt her. There was no consoling her and no getting her to eat. Mike finally settled her down and she drifted back to sleep...only to wake up at 7:30 feed normally, smile and charm us with her wiles. Seriously!!

It's been 8 weeks and I am fully convinced this child will be the death of me...worry, stress, concern- that'll be the cause of death to be sure.

Just when I thought I was becoming a calm and go with the flow type mom Avery throws this curve ball at me, and I know everyone says that this will happen. Just as soon as you think you have it down pat everything will change...but who refuses to eat?

I know I have posted on this topic before, but it still continues to amaze me how one little baby can so drastically change your outlook on life. Nine weeks ago I would have described myself as a confident, competent adult who could fully deal with any crisis handed to her.

Now, I feel like I am a quivering mess most of the time. Oh, I put on a good face (sometimes). I even made it through last night's incident without crying (a big deal for me), but deep down inside I wonder if I am doing any of this parenting stuff right.

Does that ever go away?

2 Thinks and Thoughts of Others:

SB said...

e refused to eat. all the time. but she's not e. (and pray she doesn't become like her) good luck!

SB said...

ps. I know you know that this uneasiness is normal. annoying. disconcerting. but normal. you're doing awesome. and if you simply did not worry, I would worry. You are new at this: if you thought you were perfect and got it all right away, I'd think you were missing a few marbles.

Last Words...

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe