Well, it has taken us a few days but I think we have finally settled back into our routine after two wonderful weeks at the cottage. We enjoyed our time with my parents, friends, going to the beach, shopping and most of all just relaxing. The saddest part of being home from the cottage means that the summer is now half over and I am that much closer to returning to work. I am finding that the closer we get to September the harder I am finding the idea of leaving my baby everyday. I know that it is the best thing for me career-wise, I am too much of a control freak to let someone else start my classroom. I know that Avery will be more than fine staying home with her dad, and I know my husband is looking forward to spending so much time with the baby, but.....
What seems like a great idea in some moments seems like a horrible idea in others!
I am lucky though because I will have every summer to spend with my baby and lots of moms don't get that, many moms don't even get the luxury of the eight months I have been able to spend with her. I am just so afraid of missing something, which is silly because of course I will. I will miss stuff when she goes to school too, when she leaves home, when she is with her friends, etc. Hopefully though we can create a close enough relationship that she will want to come back and share it with me after the fact. Like I do with my mom.
I am looking forward to seeing her bright smile everyday when I come home from work and I know that having her at home will make me less of a workaholic. I will be forced to learn some balance....the big buzz word in schools. Administrators are often talking about how important it is for us to have balance because so much of our work has to go home with us. This year will be the first test of that for me. Before I have had my evenings free to mark and plan as much as I wanted but now I will want to spend all that time with my baby girl. It's going to be interesting to say the least.