Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Friday, September 2, 2011

Today was......without words

So it's the week (actually now the weekend) before I go back to work and my time at home with my baby is officially over. Done. Finished. Kaput.

I rebound back and forth between being excited to go back to work and bursting into tears at the thought of leaving my baby. Very stable of me. Because of this situation one would think that I would be making the most of the last days with my baby and trying to eke out every last minute with her...but no, I had to go into the school to set up my room for the coming school year. My mom very graciously came to stay with us for a few days to watch Avery while I was at the school.

Unfortunately for her this was the week that Avery decided to develop separation anxiety. Needless to say not everyday was peachy keen for my mom. So what does all this have to do with today as the title states? Well, to tell you that we actually have to go back to yesterday when I drove my mom home after her visit. She lives about 3.5 hours away but when you are travelling with an 8 month old that takes you about 5 hours. We eventually made it home, had dinner with my dad, aunt and grandma so everyone could see the baby and then settled in for sleep.

No sleep.

For Avery and I that is. In the last few visits to other people's houses Avery has developed an aversion to sleeping anywhere that is not her room. She wakes up repeatedly, is very upset or worse really...wide awake for hours. I have had to resort to sleeping holding her in a chair, on the couch etc just to get some shut eye...not fun. Of course, this happened again last night at my parent's house. So this morning I was quite tired and just wanted to hit the road.

The first past of our trip was pure bliss. Avery fell asleep the second the car left the driveway and had a wonderful 2 hour nap until we reached the first rest stop and it was time for her bottle. She sure needed the sleep after being awake most of the night! We met another new mom in the rest area, chatted for a bit, drank a bottle and hit the road again...not pure bliss- pure hell.

This time Avery was awake, and not happy about being separated from me. If she can see me and not touch me these days she is upset....loudly. What should have been a simple 1.5 hour drive home took 3 hours and required 4 stops to comfort her. I kept thinking to myself, "Just power through..don't stop, she'll calm down." But have you ever driven on a busy 4 lane highway with an infant screaming in the back seat. Not so fun or calm.

By the time we got back on the road after our 4th stop I just wanted to be home so badly that I determined this was it...not more stops we would make it. Every time I heard Avery start to make any upset noises in the back seat I handed her a piece of Mum-Mum over my shoulder (yes, I bribed an 8 month old with food...I'm not proud of it but I did it and it worked!) and hoped we would make it before the Mum-Mum's ran out.

As I turned off the highway onto the exit for my house I glanced back in the mirror just time to see Avery nod off to sleep..5 minutes from our house. Ahhh, payback from bribing a baby? Who knows...all I know is that driving on a highway + a baby suffering from separation anxiety= exhausted mom!

1 Thinks and Thoughts of Others:

(Diane) Bibliophile By the Sea said...

Oh that has got to a hard thing to do. I'm sure Avery will be in fine hands, and you will still have quality time together.

enjoy the weekend.

Last Words...

Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe