Thinking of Thinking

Carrot Oatmeal Muffins

2012-01-16T20:58:00.000-05:00

Having a baby has made me become a baker! I have been attempting all sorts of recipes lately to see what kinds of new things she will eat. It is important to me that she eat very little processed food while she is still so young so I am trying very hard to make as much of her food as possible.

I am interested in making things that are healthy, tasty and full of veggies! Avery loves baked goods...bread, crackers, goldfish. If it's carbs, she'll eat it! So I figured that if I could squeeze some vegetables into muffins Avery would love them.

I found a recipe I liked on Canadian Living's website.

Ingredients

1-1/2 cups (375 mL) all-purpose flour
1 cup (250 mL) quick-cooking rolled oats, (not instant)
1/2 cup (125 mL) packed brown sugar
1 tbsp baking soda (I changed it to 3/4 tsp baking soda)
1/2 tsp cinnamon or ginger (I changed it to 1 tsp)
1/4 tsp (1 mL) salt
1 cup (250 mL) milk (I changed it to 1/2 cup milk and 1/2 cup sour cream)
1 egg
1/4 cup (60 mL) vegetable oil (I used canola oil)
1 tsp (5 mL) vanilla
1 carrot, grated
1/2 cup (125 mL) chopped walnuts, (optional)

Preparation:

1. In large bowl, whisk together flour, rolled oats, brown sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt.

2. In separate bowl, whisk together milk, egg, oil and vanilla; pour over dry ingredients. Sprinkle with carrot, and walnuts (if using); stir just until dry ingredients are moistened. Spoon into 12 paper-lined or greased muffin cups.

3. Bake in centre of 375°F (190°C) oven for about 20 minutes or until cake tester inserted in centre comes out clean. Let cool in pan on rack for 5 minutes. Transfer to racks; let cool completely. (Make-ahead: Store in airtight container for up to 24 hours or wrap individually in plastic wrap and freeze for up to 2 weeks.)

Now I think they turned out great...Avery, however...not so much! She ate it right up when they came out of the oven but since then won't touch it! Oh dear. She is teething so that might be part of it, hopefully soon she'll like them...or another recipe I try.

A New Day, A New Routine

2012-01-10T21:24:00.001-05:00

I want to stand up and applaud all the parents out there who get up every morning and get multiple children to multiple places....wow!

I have done two days of dropping off the little one at day care and let me tell you..it hasn't been pretty. We are still working out all the kinks. Someday we'll be smooth sailing but I can pretty confidently say that tomorrow will not be that day.

In other news, Avery's first first birthday party went well and her second first birthday party is coming up this weekend. Pictures to come soon!

A First Birthday...

2012-01-08T21:53:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow is my daughter's first birthday. 365 days. How fast a year goes by. How fast your love can grow and grow.

Tomorrow I will drop my daughter off at dat care for her first full day away from anyone that is related to her by blood.

Tomorrow my daughter will start to really grow up. She will learn things from people who aren't in our family. She will discover other people's opinions. She will make friends.

Tomorrow my daughter will be one year old.

365 days.

It's amazing that in only one short year my entire life has been changed. Changed for the good. Changed for the better. Changed forever.

Tomorrow my baby will really start to grow up.

She's ready...am I?

....ummmm, so....

2012-01-01T20:31:00.001-05:00

It's been awhile. It's been a long while. A very long while. Since October 10th while. Sorry. There's not much I can say except that life got busy. Too busy, too crazy and something needed to go. It was this blog. To everyone who supported me and read my writing since I started this little endeavour I am sorry and I am going to to try and do better.

I am not sad that I didn't write during this time, I am proud that I recognized the need to let something go so I could do a good job as a mom, as a wife and as a teacher. But now I am ready to be back and trying to do something for me again. I am not promising miracles. I am not promising everyday but I am promising to try harder.

I read an interesting post today and it got me thinking about how I build some more time into my life for blogging here...have you ever heard of One Little Word? I love this idea...love it. I think my friend Brian will be over the moon for it as well.

I have decided that my one little word is going to be...

REFLECT

My baby is 7 days away from turning one year old. I feel like it is going by so fast and I don't want to miss a minute of it. She starts at day care on her first birthday and obviously for the first time since she was born she won't be spending all of her days with my husband or I.

I want to pay attention and be aware and love every moment while we are in it instead of rushing through to the next milestone. So 2012 will be the year of REFLECTION.

....and hopefully more blogging too!

Here's some highlights from our holidays:

Door wreath made by my husband!

Grapevine tree made by my mom.

Avery first Christmas present opening

I love her face here

The best part of the night was the LED flashlight...go figure!

Christmas morning, hanging hour with the puppy.

Dance and Wiggle puppy!

Daddy hugs

Frosty the Snowman jogging suit

More puppy love...Avery is big into hugging these days. I love it!

Big girl lunch!!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and all the best in 2012.

Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

2011-10-10T13:35:00.000-04:00

... I learned at campfire? It sure seems like it when you read through the lyrics of some of my favourite songs. There's nothing like a good song to teach you a life lesson, eh?

All My Life’s a Circle

All my life’s a circle, sunrise and sundown
The moon rolls through the night time
Till the day break comes around
All my life’s a circle, but I can’t tell you why
The seasons spinning round again
The years keep rolling by.

It seems like I’ve been here before, I can’t remember when
But I got this funny feeling
That we’ll all be back again
There’s no straight lines that make up my life
And all my roads have bends
There’s no clear cut beginnings, and so far no dead ends.

I’ve found you a thousand times, I guess you’ve done the same
But then we’ll lose each other
It’s just like children’s games
As I see you here again, the thought runs through my mind
Our friendships like a circle,
Let’s go round one more time.

Linger

Mm, mm, I’d like to linger

Mm, mm, a little longer
Mm, mm, a little longer here with you
Mm, mm, its such a perfect night
Mm, mm, it doesn’t seem quite right
Mm, mm, that it should be my last with you
Mm, mm, and come December

Mm, mm, I will remember
Mm, mm, our campfire bright and friendships true
Mm, mm, and as the years go by
Mm, mm, I’ll think you you and sigh
Mm, mm, this is goodnight and not goodbye

Frog Kissin'

Do you remember in the fairy tale, how the wicked witches spell
Turned the handsome prince to a toad?
By the power of a potion, she handed him the notion
He was lower than the dirt in the road.
And though she left him green and warted, her evil plans were thwarted
Their chanced to happen by a young miss
Who inspite of his complexion, offered him affection
And broke the wicked curse with her kiss

So if you've never been frog kissing
Then you don't know what you've been missin',
There's a wealth of opportunity under each and every log.
And if you've never been charm-breakin',
Then you've never been handsome prince makin'.
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a frog!

Once upon a time ago, I was down and feelin' low
Like a lonely frog in a pond
My life was just a joke, and I was just about to croak
Cuz I'd be zapped by life's wicked wand.
But in the depths of my depression, there came a true expression
Of love from a person so sweet.
She gave me warm fuzzy feelings, feelings that were healin'
And she knocked me off my little webbed feet.
There's a happy-ever-after-land, deep in the heart of man
Where a prince and princess abides.
But all we get are glimpses, of the happy prince or princess
'Cauce they're covered with a green warty hide.
Though they're full of life's potential, they're lacking one essential
To enable them to shine like a star.
That's a handsome guy or missus, to smother them with kisses
And love them just the way that they are.
That's the secret of frog kissing
You can do it too if you'll just listen
There's a wealth of opportunity under each and every log.
That's the secret of charm-breakin',
That's the secret of handsome prince makin'.
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a...
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a...
You've got to slow down, turn around, bend down,
Kiss you a frog!

Thanksgiving..Canadian Style

2011-10-10T13:34:00.001-04:00

I am currently home right now for Thanksgiving. We came down to my parent's place on Saturday morning and have had a busy weekend of eating, visiting friends and mostly just seeing family. My cousin had a baby girl a few weeks ago and we were able to get together this weekend and meet the baby for the first time. We also celebrated a long time family friend's 40th anniversary (wow...that's a long time).

As I write this I am lounging in my parent's study as my mom watches some Tv and recovers from making us a delicious meal last night. The baby is napping and my husband and dad are playing golf. All in all it's been a pretty great weekend. Although the drive is pretty long to get here (3.5 hours + stops) it's always worth the trip.

But seeing family is always worth the trip I'd say.

On The Loose

2011-09-26T20:10:00.001-04:00

Lately I find myself singing this old campfire song to Avery as I put her to bed...

On the Loose
Did you ever watch the sunrise turn the sky completely red,
Have you slept beneath the moon and stars, a pine bough for your bed
Did you sit and talk with friends, though a word was never said,
Then you’re just like me and you’ve been on the loose.
Chorus:
On the loose to climb a mountain,
On the loose where I am free.
On the loose to live my life, the way I think my life should be,
For I’ve only got a moment and a whole world yet to see.
I’ll be looking for tomorrow on the loose.
There’s a trail that I’ll be hiking just to see where it might go.
Many places yet to visit, many people yet to know,
For in following in my dreams, I will live and I will grow,
On a trail that’s waiting out there on the loose.
Chorus
So in search of love and laughter, I’ll be traveling cross this land
Never sure of where I’m going, for I haven’t got a plan,
So in time when you are ready, come and join me and take my hand,
And together we’ll share life out there on the loose.
Chorus
In this world that I am traveling, I will think of you this way,
Remembering your smile, for it seems like yesterday
When we slept beneath the stars, and we dreamed about this day
Now we have come together on the loose.
Chorus
Do the trees in the forest make you sit and think of love?
Does it take you twenty times or more to count the stars above?
For I’m here now and I like it and the hours melt away,
And if I want I’ll stay here another day.
Chorus
As I sit and watch the sunset and the daylight softly fades,
I am thinking of tomorrow and the friendships we have made.
I will value them for always and I hope you’ll do the same,
And forever we’ll explore life on the loose.
Chorus
Now the moon is softly glowing and the stars are twinkling bright
Our laughter and our friendship have cleared this cloudy night
Come and join our flickering campfire, come and sing our happy songs
And together we’ll share life out on the loose.
Chorus
I hope that's exactly the life Avery has. Exactly.

Multi-tasking Mom

2011-09-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

Well I am three weeks in. Three weeks of being a working mom and it is tough! I am lucky that right I have a student teacher so really I am not teaching the full day and therefore not planning or prepping a full day but it's still tough. I have always been the type of teacher (and person) who if I am going to do something I am going to do it well. This means that Is pend a to of time creating lessons and activities for my classroom. It's something I fell is important to do and something that I choose to do.

Now that I have a baby at home I want to spend all of the time with her that I can which means something has got to give somewhere. So far it has been blogging (not too much of that going on), knitting (very little of that going on), and reading (only for as long as I can keep my eyes open at night). I come home from work and spend the precious few hours I have with Avery before she goes to sleep and then once she is asleep I do any school work that is needed. I must say I am getting better at using my school time to get work done (less lunches int he staff room) and prioritizing what actually needs to be done. I know, however, that the time is going to come when the thing that's gotta give is how much time at home I spend on school stuff. And that's okay.

That's life and Avery is way more important.

I just hope when the day comes I remember and don't give myself a stress attack because I can't do it all. Up until now I have been able to do it all. I am not trying to be egotistical, I just have always been a very efficient person who can get a lot of things done in one day. I am great at making lists. My mom says I made lists as a kid. It's my nature! I want to be able to do it all and do it well.

But maybe one day soon that just won't be realistic.

Bath and Bed

2011-09-21T20:33:00.000-04:00

My new routine is bath and bed. Every night I get to do the bath and the bed time with the baby. This used to be my husband's job but now that I am the one working it's all mine. There is just something magical about being the last person to hold a baby before they drift off to sleep.

Bath and bedtime is definitely one of the best things about going back to work. A sweet little cuddle. A pretty little smile. And that little sigh as she drifts off to sleep. All mine.

Life is Full or Full of Life?

2011-09-20T20:58:00.000-04:00

Going back to work has been one of the best decisions I have made in my life...but I also feel that I am the busiest I have ever been. Coming home to my beautiful baby's face everyday is the best gift I could ever ask for. Life just seems to be in its proper place these days. I have a job I adore. A family I can't wait to see at the end of everyday and I wake up with a smile.

What more could you ask for?

Good Morning Monday!

2011-09-12T07:11:00.000-04:00

It's the first official Monday of the school year. There are lots of people who don't like getting up on Mondays after a weekend away from the daily trudge of work. Personally, I don't mind Mondays...it's Sunday night I find harder. Sunday nights feel like an end. They feel so final, so over, so blah. Your body knows you are going to have to get up in the morning and start your work week and so it rebels. I always feel extra tired on Sunday nights.

But by Monday morning I am ready to go. Ready to face another week.

It probably helps that this is my first Monday morning in 8 months. I'll let you know how next week goes!

The First Day of School

2011-09-06T21:00:00.002-04:00

I really want to write a nice long post about how great my first day was.

I really want to write about how I loved being around adults again.

I want to write about how I sobbed all the way through "Guess How Much I Love You" when I put my baby to bed last night.

I want to tell you all about my kids.

I want to share my success with my first Daily 5 lesson ever.

I want to tell you how much coffee I drank today. And the donut I ate.

I want to tell you about the number of times I stared at my baby's picture.

I want to write about my lack of ability to complete my day plan for tomorrow and my confusion as to where this skill has gone.

I want to tell you about the chaos of teaching at a school with 1375 students in K- 8 and 95% of those students are bussed. C.H.A.O.S.

I want to tell you about the beautiful smile on my baby's face when I came home from work today.

I want to tell you about how I wore high heels to work and took them off at lunch because I haven't worn high heels since before I got pregnant and my feet hurt.

I really want to tell you all about my day...

But what I want to do most of all is sleep.

11 Hours...

2011-09-05T20:14:00.001-04:00

That's it. That's all. 11 hours until I go back to work and my mat leave is over. I have thought all day about what I wanted to write in this post and it's just not there. I can't really clarify my own feelings so how can I write it all out here? I am excited to go back to work, to be teaching and to be out in society again. Yet, every time I look at my sweet baby's face, kiss her fat little cheeks, or hug her close I start to tear up at the thought of being away from her everyday.

How much will I miss? How fast it she going to learn new stuff and I won't be here to see it all? What if she misses me and is upset during the day? What if....

I'm not sure I can even keep writing. This much thinking about being away from my baby is just getting me more and more upset. I am hoping that tomorrow will be so busy I won't even have time to think about missing my baby. I have a big picture frame full of pictures of her so I will still be able to "see" her all day. I am also going to have a student-teacher in my room starting tomorrow (yes, the first day!) so that will also be occupying my time...not to mention the 24 students!

For right now I am going to head off and watch Bachelor Pad to numb my mind...

Today was......without words

2011-09-02T21:50:00.000-04:00

So it's the week (actually now the weekend) before I go back to work and my time at home with my baby is officially over. Done. Finished. Kaput.

I rebound back and forth between being excited to go back to work and bursting into tears at the thought of leaving my baby. Very stable of me. Because of this situation one would think that I would be making the most of the last days with my baby and trying to eke out every last minute with her...but no, I had to go into the school to set up my room for the coming school year. My mom very graciously came to stay with us for a few days to watch Avery while I was at the school.

Unfortunately for her this was the week that Avery decided to develop separation anxiety. Needless to say not everyday was peachy keen for my mom. So what does all this have to do with today as the title states? Well, to tell you that we actually have to go back to yesterday when I drove my mom home after her visit. She lives about 3.5 hours away but when you are travelling with an 8 month old that takes you about 5 hours. We eventually made it home, had dinner with my dad, aunt and grandma so everyone could see the baby and then settled in for sleep.

No sleep.

For Avery and I that is. In the last few visits to other people's houses Avery has developed an aversion to sleeping anywhere that is not her room. She wakes up repeatedly, is very upset or worse really...wide awake for hours. I have had to resort to sleeping holding her in a chair, on the couch etc just to get some shut eye...not fun. Of course, this happened again last night at my parent's house. So this morning I was quite tired and just wanted to hit the road.

The first past of our trip was pure bliss. Avery fell asleep the second the car left the driveway and had a wonderful 2 hour nap until we reached the first rest stop and it was time for her bottle. She sure needed the sleep after being awake most of the night! We met another new mom in the rest area, chatted for a bit, drank a bottle and hit the road again...not pure bliss- pure hell.

This time Avery was awake, and not happy about being separated from me. If she can see me and not touch me these days she is upset....loudly. What should have been a simple 1.5 hour drive home took 3 hours and required 4 stops to comfort her. I kept thinking to myself, "Just power through..don't stop, she'll calm down." But have you ever driven on a busy 4 lane highway with an infant screaming in the back seat. Not so fun or calm.

By the time we got back on the road after our 4th stop I just wanted to be home so badly that I determined this was it...not more stops we would make it. Every time I heard Avery start to make any upset noises in the back seat I handed her a piece of Mum-Mum over my shoulder (yes, I bribed an 8 month old with food...I'm not proud of it but I did it and it worked!) and hoped we would make it before the Mum-Mum's ran out.

As I turned off the highway onto the exit for my house I glanced back in the mirror just time to see Avery nod off to sleep..5 minutes from our house. Ahhh, payback from bribing a baby? Who knows...all I know is that driving on a highway + a baby suffering from separation anxiety= exhausted mom!

Everybody's Gotta Have a Friend

2011-08-26T09:28:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a friend that was so like you that sometimes it felt like you were the same person? Avery has a friend just like that.

The Great Cucumber Standoff of 2011

2011-08-25T21:47:00.000-04:00

Today it was a battle. The suspense was a killer. Who would win? What would happen? I was on pins and needles.

Here's how it all went down...Avery had a cucumber. Kahne wanted it. Let the standoff begin.

The final decision....Avery is the winner!!

Love is better than anger...

2011-08-22T13:54:00.002-04:00

Today is a sad day for all Canadians and for the world. One of the hardest working men in Canada has lost his battle to cancer.

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

~ Jack Layton

In an Open Letter to Canadians Jack left us with his final words. A call to stay positive and to continue fighting to make Canada, and the world a better place. It is something that everyone, not just his supporters, should read and take to heart. Jack was a fighter for all. He fought for the poor and disadvantage. He fought for seniors. He fought for education. He fought to make the world a better place.

As I have read in many place already today, this is a sentiment I must echo...he was the best Prime Minister we never had.

To read more about Jack go here and here, and here.

Le Bon Jack...you will be greatly missed.

So Whatcha Been Doin'?

2011-08-21T20:52:00.000-04:00

Life has been busy!! Busy Busy Busy!

Summer is coming to a close which means that I only have 2 weeks left of my mat leave and being home with my baby everyday. I am starting to plan for the upcoming school year but am also procrastinating it at the same time. It's almost like if I don't get stuff ready then the time won't go by...silly I know! But truth be told the school year is on my mind a lot and I have started to type stuff up and get read to go back...a little sad, and a little excited.

When I think back on this summer the best memory will be the time we spent at the cottage. I think that was a huge turning point for Avery has she grew so much in the time that we were there and has become such a grown up baby in the weeks we have been home since going. I know it's been forever but here are some pictures of our time at the cottage...

Bowl on my head....funny baby!

First ever fever...sad baby.

Mom and baby time

Hanging with aunty and Simon

Look at my hat!

Let's go to the beach with Papa

Happy baby!

Swimming baby!

Happy to be done swimming!

Hanging with the grandparents

I love my little pool!

Tired baby.

I just love her. A lot.

In other news, Friday was my birthday and I made the peanut butter chocolate pie that I posted about last week as my "birthday cake". SB also made it after reading the blog post and we decided to share our thoughts. I liked the pie but found it a little rich... also I made it the day of because the recipe said it would set in three hours...or overnight. Overnight is better. Next time I think I might half the sweetened condensed milk and leave out the layer of melted chocolate in the crust, but overall it was delicious. I highly recommend it!

for mikey - In Jennie's Kitchen

2011-08-18T14:14:00.001-04:00

for mikey - In Jennie's Kitchen

I love peanut butter. I love chocolate. I love my husband. Not in that order.

Reading this blog post of a woman who recently lost her husband was just heartbreaking. I can't help by think of her and her children.

She has asked that people make this pie in memory of her husband, Mikey.

Done.

Thoughts About Getting Older...and Maybe Wiser? Who Knows!

2011-08-18T09:23:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow I will turn 32 years old. What an unimportant number. Nothing special happens at 32. It's not a big milestone. There are no surprise parties. It's just a random number on the way to.... wherever.

I don't feel 32. I'm not even really sure what 32 is supposed to feel like? Look like? Meh.

I'm pretty sure I don't look 32 since most people are shocked that I am a teacher, can drive, am allowed in rated R movies...etc. I gather from this I look young? Whatever that's worth. I must say the shock seems to be wearing off slowly. I get carded less at restaurants and the LCBO. Parents don't look as concerned all the time that I have been allowed to teach their children.

And now I have a baby...boy that'll make you grow up fast. Although I must admit that I have always felt like I was one of those people who was/is pretty grown up for their age. Not that I don't enjoy some good imagination or can't have fun with my little ones at school but I can also see the responsibility involved in life without whining about it.

32 years, eh.

Hmmm.

That's really all I have to say about that.

Mom Hair, Mom Jeans...Mom Van?

2011-08-11T23:28:00.003-04:00

Just kidding...I am not wearing mom jeans and we are not getting a van! But I do want a new do. I grew my hair out from an angled bob when I found out I was pregnant because I knew I would want a ponytail while pregnant and during the first crazy, hectic months...but now that I am a few weeks away from going back to work and am tired of always having a ponytail I am thinking of something new.

Here is a recent picture of me:

My hair is straight...we're talking I can let it air dry and not use a straightener straight. STRAIGHT.

I am not opposed to doing my hair everyday but I want something quick. It takes about 30 minutes to blow it dry and I don't think I am willing to do that every morning anymore especially come January when I will have to get Avery up and ready and off to daycare!

I am also tire of Avery pulling it!

Here's what I am thinking of...

Source

Not too short to start, kind of a starter short do? Thoughts... I do think that I quickly feel that that is a do with no style at all and that will bug me.

There is also this...

Source

My husband is in favour of this look...

Source

The good and bad news is that my appointment is on Saturday...so I'm going to have to decide soon and live with it!

Took the words right out of my mouth...

2011-08-10T19:43:00.001-04:00

Today I read a blog post by a good friend of mine, SB. It was like she reached into my head and could see my thoughts...head on over here if you want to check it out.

I will be the first to admit that I am not the most easygoing person. I like to have my plans made in advance. I like to know how things are going to work. I get very nervous when I do things for the first time. I don't like doing things wrong. Mix all this together and you get a stressed out new mom.

When I was pregnant with Avery the book The Baby Whisperer was recommended to me because my cousin had had so much success with it. To be perfectly honest, I felt that I had to use the book otherwise too many comparisons would be made and that without it I wouldn't be seen as good a mom as my cousin.

I like that the author attempts to give practical advice and provide a structure for new moms, however she consistently states that unless you are able to follow her outlines you are "accidentally parenting". If this is happening you are basically setting your child up to fail at life...at least that's how it feels when you are reading this book and not finding any success with the methods in it. Mix that with the crazy hormones flying through a new mom and you have a recipe for disaster.

I must admit that the sleep strategies outlined in the book have been successful for us. The Shush-Pat and the Pick Up-Put Down have consistently worked. That being said, I also have an "angel baby" who rarely (and I mean rarely) cries...so who really knows if it's the book or just Avery? The E.A.S.Y routine for the day has just started working for us but Avery still eats every 3 hours so again I am doing that part wrong.

Le sigh.

After reading SB's post I felt much better knowing that I am not the only mom out there who isn't a "baby whisperer". Isn't it nice to know you aren't alone? It's especially nice because here I am 7 months in and I will still crack open the book at times, attempt something and then stress out when it doesn't work. Meanwhile, I am have been caring for my baby for 7 months and it's all worked out so far.

In other news.....my husband takes over baby duty in 4 weeks and I go back to work. I will have even less control than I do over Avery's schedule because let's be honest, she controls her schedule! I do feel like we have reached a place where things are working well and I am getting much better at going with the flow of things. But every once in awhile I start to lose my mind again....it's just sad really.

Again...seriously??

2011-08-04T12:27:00.001-04:00

It seems like every few weeks I am back here, in this very same place. Stressed out. Worried. Tired? Confused? What's all the fuss about you ask? Baby sleep routines, napping, feeding...you name it. I seem to end up back here very few weeks or so wondering if I am doing it right, do I need to change things? It's exhausting and at times I feel counterproductive. I think some of my worry stems from the fact that I want things to be in place for when my husband takes over in September, not because I don't think he can figure it out on his own...but because...well, I don't know really.

I don't want to say that I am worried that he won't do it as well as I do because goodness knows, I questions everything I do all the time anyway. And I know he will do it differently than me and that's okay too...it's hard to actually pin point what my worry is. I think I want Avery to get the best of everything, always. The best of the her naps. The best of her feeds. The best of her playtime. I worry when it seems like things aren't going as well as they could be. I really do, a lot.

I wish I could be a more go with the flow mom, as my mom told me last week "I just fed you when you were hungry."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a thought right? I'm sure it applies to sleep too, I napped when I was tired. Sometimes I think that all the books and websites just create more stress and worry. I survived my babyhood without my mom having anything at her disposal in terms of the massive of amounts of information on the internet and in bookstores today. I am a pretty okay person I like to think!

Maybe going back to work and having other things to worry about is the best thing for me?

Decompression

2011-08-04T08:55:00.001-04:00

Well, it has taken us a few days but I think we have finally settled back into our routine after two wonderful weeks at the cottage. We enjoyed our time with my parents, friends, going to the beach, shopping and most of all just relaxing. The saddest part of being home from the cottage means that the summer is now half over and I am that much closer to returning to work. I am finding that the closer we get to September the harder I am finding the idea of leaving my baby everyday. I know that it is the best thing for me career-wise, I am too much of a control freak to let someone else start my classroom. I know that Avery will be more than fine staying home with her dad, and I know my husband is looking forward to spending so much time with the baby, but.....

What seems like a great idea in some moments seems like a horrible idea in others!

I am lucky though because I will have every summer to spend with my baby and lots of moms don't get that, many moms don't even get the luxury of the eight months I have been able to spend with her. I am just so afraid of missing something, which is silly because of course I will. I will miss stuff when she goes to school too, when she leaves home, when she is with her friends, etc. Hopefully though we can create a close enough relationship that she will want to come back and share it with me after the fact. Like I do with my mom.

I am looking forward to seeing her bright smile everyday when I come home from work and I know that having her at home will make me less of a workaholic. I will be forced to learn some balance....the big buzz word in schools. Administrators are often talking about how important it is for us to have balance because so much of our work has to go home with us. This year will be the first test of that for me. Before I have had my evenings free to mark and plan as much as I wanted but now I will want to spend all that time with my baby girl. It's going to be interesting to say the least.

Summer Dreamin' ... Campin' ... Wishin'

2011-07-18T21:01:00.001-04:00

For many, many, many years the start of summer meant packing a huge duffle bag (a hockey bag to be exact and probably because I am a Canadian girl with a hockey player dad!) and heading off into the wilderness that is summer camp.

I started going to camp when I was quite young. It all started with Girl Guide camp, Summer Outdoors day camp, horse camp, church camp, tennis camp, french camp, Jewish camp....whew, that's a lot of camp. I loved pretty much every minute of everyday I have every spent at camp. I bet to a lot of people that know me know this would be a huge surprise because I don't really give off the aura of an outdoorsy girl. But when you really think about it there is so much more to summer camp.

Summer camp is many things to many people, but to me it's...

- learning how to be away from home

- learning how to live in one room, cabin, tent with more people than you've ever lived with

- it's eating food your mom didn't cook

- it's waiting everyday for a letter to come from home

- it's sleeping through thunderstorms

- it's trying things that terrify you

- it's swimming in ponds and lakes with way too much seaweed

- it's doing lap after lap after lap in the attempt to earn that summer's swim badge

- it's shovelling 59 horses' worht of poop and actually having fun

- it's getting up at 6 am for early morning feed, or polar bear dip, or to run the camp road

- it's more face paint and apache fire challenges than most people ever encounter in their lifetime

- it's fun

- it's portaging a canoe in the dead heat of summer

- it's meeting your lifelong friends and maybe even your soulmate

- it's smiles, and giggles, and laughs, and crying, and everything in between

- it's campfires and singsong

- it's made me who I am today.

At the very young age of 15 I became a camp counselor and didn't stop until I was 25 and I still miss it every summer. My best friend, who I met at camp, asked me earlier this summer if I would send Avery to camp and my answer in absolutely....if she wants to go.

Now the summers are without summer camp..why don't they have summer camp for moms? What a great idea! But the summers do have the cottage and that's where my family and I are headed tomorrow for two glorious weeks of relaxing, beaching, shopping, eating and resting.

It's not summer camp, but I'll take it. See you when I get back!

The Best of 2 Worlds

2011-07-16T07:02:00.002-04:00

Oh my goodness!! Two of my favourite YA books have been combined in a Glee style mash-up to create on amazing game called "The Potter Games". It's a choose your own adventure style where the characters from Harry Potter are thrown into the arena of The Hunger Games. I think I will be spending way too much time on this site!

Check it out: The Potter Games

One and half months...

2011-07-15T21:48:00.001-04:00

That's it. That's all I have left of my maternity leave and being home everyday with my beautiful baby girl. I can't believe how fast the time is flying by. I am very excited, and a little ready, to go back to work in September but I know I will miss, miss, miss my baby everyday. Man, am I going to live for Saturdays and Sundays. I also know that I am very lucky to live in Canada where we get a year off for maternity leave and that it is my choice to go back to work after only 8 months. Believe me, I know how lucky this is. It's hard to think that is some places in the world women are back to work after a mere 6 or 8 weeks. Those poor mommas and their poor babies. I would have hated to miss this early time in my baby's life, but I also understand that for many people staying home isn't an option because after all, their family needs to eat too.

One and a half months...so much of that time is already filled up with places to go and people to see. It's going to be over before I know it. I feel like Avery has already grown up so much. She is way bigger than when she was born, way stronger, does a lot more interesting things. Sometimes I feel like her babyhood is slipping away too fast. I also suppose that all moms feel like this.

As much as I want to go back to work and am looking forward to it I wonder if I will actually be ready for it when the time gets here? I wonder.

Sick baby

2011-07-13T22:11:00.001-04:00

My baby is sick for the first time and my heart hurts. A lot.

The doctor says it is the flu...in July. I hope it goes away soon and never comes back. I am not built to handle this and I have to admit it's not even that bad. She still smiles. She still giggles and plays. It's just me and my mommy heart that are struggling.

Oh dear.

Where has the time gone...

2011-07-09T21:02:00.001-04:00

Dear Avery,

My little baby is 6 months old today. Six months! When did that happen? It seems as though you have always been a part of our life and I find it hard to believe that I ever lived without you. In just six short months you have become so important in my life.

For a long time I didn't think I wanted to have kids. I thought that maybe teaching them everyday was enough. I now know how wrong I was.

7 1/2 months pregnant

Little baby in a little belly.

Last pregnancy photo...on our way to get induced.

The best part about these past six months has been seeing you grow and change.

You were born so little and perfect. January 9th, 2011.

However, you were not quite as excited as we were!

And pretty soon you were just tired.

You have developed so much already. I must say that you are probably the happiest baby I have ever met. Right from the start you snuggled into our little family and everyone you met.

We couldn't stop looking at you or taking pictures of you. Believe me, there have been more pictures taken of you in six months of life than probably all my 32 years!

Gram fell hard and fast! She came to stay with us for the first week you were home and then again during the third week when I wasn't really sure I could do it alone yet. She has been supportive, helpful and loving. Not to mention she'll hold you, feed you, change you, burp you...anything as long as it involves you!

This is Aunt Jenni and Uncle Michael. Aunt Jenni was there when you were born and I've never seen a bigger smile. I'm pretty sure you could get her to do whatever you want.

Oh, and Papa! He drove every weekend to drop Gram off and then pick Gram up when we asked her to come. Plus he had to work up here so that was a few more weekends of driving. And while he was here he might as well spend some time with you. Did I mention that it's 3.5 hours one way and he did every weekend for 5 weeks. That's love. Big time.

Kahne wasn't too sure about you in the beginning but he has since developed a big love for you, especially since we have started solid food. Coincidence? Maybe.

February. Such a beautiful little face.

And your personality started to come out to play. Inquisitive. Curious. Funny.

Look how strong you were! Two months and hold your head up like a champ. And those eyes! They just grabbed my heart and have held on ever since.

March. First smiles.

You have a smile for everyone (only making strange on a few occasions and for just a short period of time).

Sometimes serious and your whole face changes. Gorgeous.

Little sleeping beauty. You have always been a sleeping champ...straight through the night since 11 weeks. We are so lucky!

April. Kahne might be a little jealous now and then but you get your fair share of kisses too.

What a face! Your daddy is going to be in trouble when you are older.

May. Tummy time with Mom and Dad...getting ready to start rolling over!

You love when we sing "Patty Cake" and "Round the Garden", you giggle every time we play "surprise peekaboo" and just adore when your Daddy arrives home from work.

You already show a strong liking for TV, just like your Daddy, you play with your toys like a champ and don't mind entertaining yourself.

You can roll over both ways, sits by yourself and drink from a sippy cup. You have yet to refuse any of the solid foods we have tried and you will fight to keep your frozen grapes in a mesh treat. You burp like a sailor.

June. This is the face of love.

You know your Gram's voice on the phone and you pay attention to her image when we skype. You loves Kahne and take every opportunity you can to pet him when he walks by and then giggle like a maniac when he runs around.

Yummy cereal.

Bath time is a great time.

July 1st, 2011- Canada Day

You have become the center of our whole world. The first thing we think of in the morning and the last thing we think about at night. In my whole life, having you was the best decision I have ever made.

You are the sunshine in all my days.

Six months. Wow.

How many have you read?

2011-07-05T13:03:00.000-04:00

My friend Brian posted about the BBC's top 200 book list (I think I have seen this on Facebook before) and he highlighted all the books he has read....and I thought, great idea! Me too!!

1. The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
3. His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
4. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling
6. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee7. Winnie-the-Pooh by A. A. Milne
8. Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell9. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis
10. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
11. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
12. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
13. Birdsong by Sebastian Faulks
14. Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier15. The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
16. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame
17. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
18. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
19. Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernières
20. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy21. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
22. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J. K. Rowling
23. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J. K. Rowling
24. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J. K. Rowling25. The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien
26. Tess of the d'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
27. Middlemarch by George Eliot
28. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving
29. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
30. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
31. The Story of Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson
32. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez
33. The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
34. David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
35. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
36. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
37. A Town Like Alice by Nevil Shute
38. Persuasion by Jane Austen
39. Dune by Frank Herbert
40. Emma by Jane Austen
41. Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery42. Watership Down by Richard Adams
43. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
44. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
45. Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
46. Animal Farm by George Orwell
47. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
48. Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy
49. Goodnight Mister Tom by Michelle Magorian
50. The Shell Seekers by Rosamunde Pilcher
51. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett52. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
53. The Stand by Stephen King
54. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
55. A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth
56. The BFG by Roald Dahl
57. Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome58. Black Beauty by Anna Sewell
59. Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer
60. Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
61. Noughts & Crosses by Malorie Blackman
62. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden
63. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens
64. The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough
65. Mort by Terry Pratchett
66. The Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton
67. The Magus by John Fowles
68. Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
69. Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Perfume by Patrick Süskind
72. The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists by Robert Tressell
73. Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
74. Matilda by Roald Dahl
75. Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
76. The Secret History by Donna Tartt
77. The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins
78. Ulysses by James Joyce
79. Bleak House by Charles Dickens
80. Double Act by Jacqueline Wilson
81. The Twits by Roald Dahl
82. I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith
83. Holes by Louis Sachar
84. Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake
85. The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy
86. Vicky Angel by Jacqueline Wilson
87. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
88. Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons
89. Magician by Raymond E. Feist90. On the Road by Jack Kerouac
91. The Godfather by Mario Puzo
92. The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel
93. The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett
94. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
95. Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer
96. Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
97. Girls in Love by Jacqueline Wilson
98. The Princess Diaries by Meg Cabot
99. Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie
100. Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome
101. Small Gods by Terry Pratchett102. The Beach by Alex Garland
103. Dracula by Bram Stoker
104. Point Blanc by Anthony Horowitz
105. The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens
106. Stormbreaker by Anthony Horowitz
107. The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks
108. The Day of the Jackal by Frederick Forsyth
109. The Illustrated Mum by Jacqueline Wilson
110. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
111. The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾ by Sue Townsend
112. The Cruel Sea by Nicholas Monsarrat
113. Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
114. The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy
115. The Dare Game by Jacqueline Wilson116. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
117. Shōgun by James Clavell
118. The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham
119. Lola Rose by Jacqueline Wilson
120. Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray
121. The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy
122. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski
123. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver
124. Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett
125. Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison126. The Hound of the Baskervilles by Arthur Conan Doyle
127. Possession: A Romance by A. S. Byatt
128. The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
129. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
130. Danny, the Champion of the World by Roald Dahl131. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
132. George's Marvellous Medicine by Roald Dahl
133. Wyrd Sisters by Terry Pratchett
134. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
135. Hogfather by Terry Pratchett
136. The Thirty-nine Steps by John Buchan
137. Girls in Tears by Jacqueline Wilson
138. Sleepovers by Jacqueline Wilson
139. All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
140. Behind the Scenes at the Museum by Kate Atkinson141. High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
142. It by Stephen King
143. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
144. The Green Mile by Stephen King
145. Papillon by Henri Charrière
146. Men at Arms by Terry Pratchett
147. Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian
148. Skeleton Key by Anthony Horowitz
149. Soul Music by Terry Pratchett
150. Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett
151. The Fifth Elephant by Terry Pratchett
152. Atonement by Ian McEwan
153. Secrets by Jacqueline Wilson
154. The Silver Sword by Ian Serraillier
155. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey156. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad
157. Kim by Rudyard Kipling
158. Cross Stitch by Diana Gabaldon
159. Moby-Dick by Herman Melville
160. River God by Wilbur Smith
161. Sunset Song by Lewis Grassic Gibbon
162. The Shipping News by E. Annie Proulx
163. The World According to Garp by John Irving
164. Lorna Doone by R. D. Blackmore
165. Girls Out Late by Jacqueline Wilson
166. The Far Pavilions by M. M. Kaye
167. The Witches by Roald Dahl168. Charlotte's Web by E. B. White
169. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
170. They Used to Play on Grass by Terry Venables/ Gordon Williams171. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
172. The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco
173. Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder
174. Dustbin Baby by Jacqueline Wilson
175. Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl
176. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov177. Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
178. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
179. The Suitcase Kid by Jacqueline Wilson
180. Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
181. The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay
182. Silas Marner by George Eliot
183. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
184. Diary of a Nobody by George and Weedon Grossmith
185. Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh
186. Goosebumps by R. L. Stine
187. Heidi by Johanna Spyri
188. Sons and Lovers by D. H. Lawrence
189. The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
190. Man and Boy by Tony Parsons
191. The Truth by Terry Pratchett
192. The War of the Worlds by H. G. Wells
193. The Horse Whisperer by Nicholas Evans
194. A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry
195. Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett
196. The Once and Future King by T. H. White
197. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
198. Flowers in the Attic by V. C. Andrews

Not too shabby!

Quietly Quiet

2011-07-03T15:29:00.000-04:00

I feel like I have gone back in time 6 months. My house is very quiet right now. The baby is sleeping (thank goodness) after a number of days in a row out and about as a little social butterfly. But of course, that's not why I feel like I have gone back in time. Nope, my husband is also asleep on the couch after a hard weekend of enjoying himself at a concert on Friday night and at a BBQ last night to watch the Daytona NASCAR race.

Yep, the good old days. Too bad I am awake and fluttering around getting things done. Such is the life of a mom I suppose!

Happy Sunday.

Life in Fast Forward

2011-06-30T20:22:00.000-04:00

Wow, things have been very busy here in the Lyons' household. Summer is officially here, the weather is beautiful and tomorrow is Canada Day! Avery and I have big plans to head south and spend the day with my best friend in St Mary's. The hubby will be enjoying our nation's birthday in style at The Tragically Hip concert (jealous!) and then we have a fun evening out with friends on Saturday.

I haven't been blogging very much this week, either here or at my teaching blog because I am in the midst of quite a few projects. My online course is coming to a head and my cumulative task is due in 2 weeks so that's been sucking up quite a bit if my time. I have some personal projects on the go as well but I think they'd be better shown in pictures!!

First, we learned how to sit up all by ourself!

Then we learned a new facial expression...bottom lips in!

We visited Papa and Gram...love them!

First real try in a Jolly Jumper. Loved. It.

Gram seems to have forgotten how to feed babies...

Getting better with practice.

How about we try a real cup for drinking?

Notice the tongue out technique?

Gram really thought it was funny...we think this picture is funny.

And this one is even better!! (Sorry, Mom...but I love this pic and had to post it!)

On top of all that excitement, we started "solids" this week! Yummy sweet potatoes homemade by me.

Ready for the freezer.

Single servings.

The verdict? Delicious!

Next week? Green beans!

Or maybe peas!

Yummy!

Since drinking from a real cup didn't go so well we thought a sippy cup might be a better route.

And to top it off, I am sewing a rag quilt for one friend's baby, and...

knitting an afghan for my cousin's baby! Notice the yarn? It's pom poms! Fun.

And that's why there has been little blogging happening around here!

I love...

2011-06-27T21:49:00.001-04:00

grocery shopping. I admit it, I do. At least I love it when the store isn't packed and all crazy with people. I have started waiting to go grocery shopping in the evenings once my husband is home. As soon as we finish dinner I hit the streets and head off to get some food! My husband does the last bottle, bath and bedtime. Isn't he a great dad? And husband? I love him, too.

There's just something nice about being able to restock your shelves and fridge and know that tomorrow you have almost endless possibilities for dinner. To be honest though, after growing up in my mother's house my pantry is pretty much never empty. Empty for me is only 3-4 cans of each item! LOL

I also really love reusable grocery bags. They fit so much stuff in them. They are easy to carry and I always feel like I am doing good for the world.

What a lovely Monday evening I've had.

Summer Starting

2011-06-27T12:53:00.000-04:00

Sorry I have been MIA for a week or so...my husband bought me a Kobo as a surprise and I have been ereading like a machine. I guess that means my decision has been made too. I am really enjoying using the ereader, especially in bed at night- so light!!

Summer is finally starting to get under way here and it's going to be a busy one for sure. A part of me loves to be busy and have stuff to do and people to see...but once the weekends start to all fill up I begin to feel a little protective of any free time we do have and want to refuse new invitations that come our way. Does anyone else feel like that sometimes?

One of the highlights of this summer is going to be our 2 weeks at the cottage with my parents. Avery and I will be heading there first and then the hubby will be meeting us for the 2nd week. It's going to be a great time. We have my cousin's wedding during those 2 weeks as well so it will be the first time I am away from Avery for an extended period of time and she isn't being taken care of by a family member. My mom's best friend, who is basically family anyway, will be coming out to the cottage to look after the 2 babes- baby baby, and puppy baby!

The one bad thing about the summer starting is that it means I have only 2 months left in my maternity leave and then I won't be spending all day, everyday with my little one. It's my choice to go back to work early, and I know it's a good choice...but it's going to be hard too.

How could I leave this little face?

What a little ham, eh!

So Sweet!!

2011-06-20T12:42:00.002-04:00

Just try not to cry... I dare you.

LUCK - NYC Wedding Proposal from Aria Melody DJ on Vimeo.

Kindred Spirits

2011-06-17T17:50:00.001-04:00

Approximately 17 years ago I worked at a summer camp called Summer Outdoors for 2 months. My 2 best friends and I all got hired to work that summer and I knew many of the other staff so I had no doubt it would be a great summer. It would be my first summer in many years that I would not be a camper but a staff member. It would start me on the road to becoming a teacher. It would give me the opportunity to meet a man that Anne Shirley would undoubtedly describe as a "kindred spirit". Even though I was only 15 and the age gap between us was significant Brian became one of the greatest influences on my life.

For 2 months out of the 382 I have lived (I will be 32 in 2 months) I knew this man and yet he has had a profound effect on my life. Imagine.

Brian and I reconnected just about 2 1/2 years ago via Facebook and I started to read his blog. His frank, open writing style inspired me to start this blog. I wanted to write like Brian. I wanted to have a chronicle of my life and my thoughts. I wanted to be open and honest, and if no one ever read than that was okay too.

Through Brian's blog I have met his gorgeous daughter Zoey and have decided that I want Avery to be just like Zoey when she grows up. I have "reconnected" with Brian's wife June who was a lifeguard at the pool that fateful summer. I believe, but I may be wrong, that Brian and June actually met that summer as well. It was a biggie, that summer.

Brian's family is going through some emotional times, some uncertainty and gut-wrenching worry. I want to just reach out and hug all of them. Instead of rejoicing over the purchase of their very first home they are worrying. Instead of planning and thinking of all the milestones that will be reached in this home, they are wondering how long they will be able to keep it. Anne's always described her "house of dreams", something I call "my forever house" (not there yet!) as the place where you would raise your family, create memories, life the best life you could. And yes you can do this in a rental, in a starter home, anywhere really- but when you have put all your heart and dreams into a house you are going to own you want life to carry on smoothly. You don't need upheaval and uncertainty surrounding the purchase.

Brian's inspirational writing led me to blog and here I am now with two- one personal and one for teaching. I never realized how much joy it would bring me. I want Brian's life to always be full of joy. I want to wipe all the worry away.

Kindred spirits are funny things really. You never know when you are going to meet them and how they will affect your life. Brian and I haven't seen each other face to face in years- YEARS and yet I feel as though he is a part of my life everyday. I knew from the moment I met him and saw how he interacted with the kids at camp that this was someone to emulate. We had many special needs campers at camp and Brian just had that way. That way of never talking down to them, never treating them as less than a person, always listening to what they had to say, valuing them as people. It was this amazing example that led me years later to become the kind of teacher I hope I am for my students. Somehow in those short 2 months Brian taught me the most important factors about my future profession and working with children. It's something I have hung on to for years.

Brian is an eternal optimist. He is always thinking of the positive and writing about his hopes. For Brian to have written some blog posts lately that shows that his train of thought as taken a downward turn just shows how worried he is. And the amount of his worry just shows the kind of man that he is. He's not worried for himself so much as he is worried for the life wants to give his family. The life he wants to create with his family. The memories he wants to hold of his family. Brian is definitely one of the good people. A kindred spirit.

2 months out of 382 and I still want to be like Brian when I grow up. He is someone I look up and aspire to be like.

Brian, June and Zoey- I am thinking of you everyday and keeping my fingers crossed that all your dreams come true.

Pottermore: Coming Soon

2011-06-16T19:25:00.001-04:00

Pottermore: Coming Soon

Can you imagine??? I just heard about this today and I am beyond excited!

Sleep...Life's Elusive Mistress

2011-06-16T07:06:00.000-04:00

January seems like a lifetime ago. How did I ever survive getting up every 2 hours to feed my little babe? How did I function on such a little amount of sleep. That is one of life's great mysteries, I think. That and how little you actually remember accurately from the first few months of your baby's life. At the time you think it will never end, you will be tired forever, and can't imagine that you will get your life back in some semblance of what it was.

Then, all of a sudden you baby sleeps for a longer period one night, and even longer the next and lo and behold one day she goes straight through the night and you wake up in a panic when you realize it's 7am and you didn't hear your baby cry once. Thoughts run rampant through your head- "Is she okay? Did I just not hear here? Oh my god, what happened?" and then you realize, if she slept through the night she must be ready to do it right? She wouldn't starve herself. Your life blossoms before you- full nights of sleep, no more haze of confusion in the morning, maybe you will only need one cup of coffee to make it through the day...maybe.

Everyone told me that as soon as I got comfortable with the routine my baby created it would change but the one area where I have been very lucky is sleeping. Avery has gone almost 11 hours every night since she was 11 weeks old. There was a brief time where we had a middle of the night wake-up after my sister's wedding but I think her routine was just thrown way off kilter. It seems as though she takes after her parents in the sleeping area- something we both really enjoy doing.

So what's up with the title you say? Well, for quite some time now- since my grandfather died when I was in high school I have had sleeping troubles off and on during the year. I don't know for sure if that's when it started it's just really the first time I remember it. The main problem is being about to turn my mind off enough to fall asleep. I can read for hours, stare at the ceiling and nothing really works. Every little noise wakes me and interrupts any sleep I may be attaining. So when you add a week of that to a change in my baby's sleep routine you end up with a very tired and cranky momma.

Avery has started to roll over more consistently and one of the problems I think we are having is that she can roll from her back to her tummy, but not from her tummy to her back. So she has started to roll over in her crib at night and then it wakes her up because she can't get back over and scares herself.... and this has been happening multiple times during the night which of course wakes me up! It's amazing that once you start to get a full night's sleep again to go back to multiple wake ups through the night how tired it can make you!

In an effort to help Avery sleep better through the night we have gone back to The Baby Whisperer's strategy of the dream feed around 10 o'clock and I forgot what it was like to feed Avery in the middle of the night. Everything is quiet and dark. It's just the two of us together in our chair. It's a nice feeling. I am not saying I want Avery to go back to waking up every night for a feed but there is just something special about snuggling with my baby in the dark. She's all mine at that time and I don't have to share her with anyone.

Of course, she's all mine during the day too when it's only the 2 of us here but somehow it's different at night time. It's like all the other people in the world have melted away and she and I are left together. It reminds me of how big she has gotten and makes me a little sad. These past (almost) 6 months have gone by super fast and she has changed so much already...le sigh.

Gone, Gone...all the way gone

2011-06-13T16:29:00.002-04:00

I had a great idea for a blog post yesterday and was super excited to sit down and write it out. The something caught my attention, I got busy and now the idea is gone!

Does that ever happen to you?

Reading from my Childhood

2011-06-11T14:38:00.001-04:00

Do you ever re-read your favourite books from when you were younger? Do you remember the book that created you as a reader? The book that ignited that spark? I do!

As a child I was in love with Anne of Green Gables (the whole series), and my second favourites were the Little House on the Prairie series and Little Women. It's not so surprising that historical fiction is still my favourite genre as an adult!

There is something special about reading a book that you love. You know what's going to happen, you know the characters like they are friends and yet you hang on every word waiting to see what's going to come next.

If you haven't read Anne of Green Gables- stop here! SPOILER

Every time I sit down to read Anne of Green Gables (which I try to do every year) I feel like I am greeting an old friend that I haven't seen in awhile. I anxiously wait to see if Marilla and Matthew will decide to keep Anne. I am indignant when Gilbert calls Anne "carrots" and enraged when Anne is forced to sit with Gilbert as a punishment. I cry big, fat tears when Matthew dies and wonder how Anne's life will ever be the same.

Reading an old favourite is like a warm cup of tea, or hot chocolate that greets you after a cold winter day. It's a hug from a loved one. It's the feeling I want to inspire in all my students, and now especially my daughter! I bought Avery her very own copy of Anne of Green Gables and it is cone of the most beautiful books I have ever seen. Hardcover. Pink with tea cups, teapots and flowers embossed on the cover. Gorgeous. I wrote a special note inside for my little little and I look forward to the day when I can introduce her to something that has been such a huge part of my life.

As I have grown older I have noticed that I connect with Anne at very different times in her life than when I was younger. As a girl I ached for Anne to get her puffed sleeves, just as I ached to wear the right clothes and "fit in". As a teen I wanted Anne to win that Avery scholarship and go to college just like I anxiously awaited my own university acceptance. I held my breathe on Anne's first day as a teacher and hoped she would be a success and loved by her students. On my own first day I tried not to let me nerves show and thought that if Anne could make it through then so could I.

And now I am a mom. I have finished Anne of Green Gables and am working my way through Anne of Avonlea. I can't wait to get to the time that Anne becomes a mom. Will that resonate with me like all the rest of Anne's life has? I have no doubt.

In a few weeks time I will be hosting a read along for Donalyn Miller's book The Book Whisperer and am excited to learn and read more about inspiring children to love reading. Along with many fabulous teacher/bloggers we are going to read through this book together and share our thoughts with each other. I urge anyone that is a teacher, a parent, a lover of books to join us and to re-read a favourite from the past.

As I always tell my students- Re-reading a book is great. You are a different person now than when you first read it and can probably learn something new.

Thoughts of 25-35 year olds

2011-06-09T21:42:00.000-04:00

I was scanning through my own Facebook profile and I found this note from waaaaaaay back. I don't know who wrote it or where it came from so I can't give credit like I would want to, but please know that I did not write this! If you know where it came from please tell me so I can give credit where credit is due.

These are thoughts that anyone between the ages of 25-35 might think...although, really I think that anyone of any age may think these as well. They just make me giggle.

-I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

-More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

-Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

-Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

-That's enough, Nickelback. (Yep, thought this!)

-I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. (Oh do I ever...do I ever!!)

-Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

-There is a great need for sarcasm font. (!!!)

-I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

-How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (I can do this, and I can do it well!)

- I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

- LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

- How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

-What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my driveway and out of my neighbourhood. (This is awesomely true!)

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

-Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

-I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. (Nope, no memory of that.)

- Bad decisions make good stories

-Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

-If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

-There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

-I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

-I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

-I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

-When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

-Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

-I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

-Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

-My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

-It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

-I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

-I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (Yes, thank you!!)

-The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

I Just Can't Stop...

2011-06-09T21:20:00.000-04:00

taking pictures of my baby...

because she would rather use her feet to play with her gym-mini

because her eyes grab my heart every time

because she makes funny, perplexed faces

because her Gram is smitten

because her Papa likes to push her stroller, hold her, hug her, feed her...you name it

because she's mine.

A Love Letter

2011-06-06T19:41:00.000-04:00

My Darling Dyson Engineers,

Thank you for the Dyson DC25 Multifloor vacuum, it has changed my life. The carpet in my living room is no longer covered with the hair of my beloved puppy. Although Kahne and I are very much in love he does tend to leave his hair all over the house. Your feat of engineering marvel** that is the DC25 is by far the best vacuum I have ever used. I do believe I am starting to fall in love with this wonderful machine. The amount of dirt and dog hair that has been removed from my house is obscene and makes my skin crawl at the thought at how poorly my previous vacuum worked. My house feels cleaner and lighter somehow. For the first time in my life I have a desire to vacuum and was almost sad today when I finished the last room and thought I would have to wait to vacuum again. This may become a daily habit for me...! Oh Dyson Engineers, how I love thee.

Sincerely,

Beth

**(Yes, I know that doesn't make sense- my husband pointed this out to me- but the vacuum is so amazing it deserves a new phrase created just for it)

What a Wonderful Morning

2011-06-06T07:22:00.001-04:00

Woke up to watch this...

Awesome!

The E-reading Decision- Part 1

2011-06-04T10:13:00.002-04:00

Part 1: My Experience with the Kobo from Chapters (Canada)

So I have been still thinking, ruminating, noodling with the idea of an ereader. I read through my favourite book- Anne of Green Gables on my sister's Kobo (from Chapters here in Canada) and really enjoyed the experience. I am a very fast reader, hence I often read very large books...we're talking 500+ pages on a consistent basis. That kind of book can get very heavy to read in bed which I do almost every might before I fall asleep. The ereader is nice a light, easy to hold while reclining and as long as you have a good bedside lamp relatively easy to read from. I did find that I had to stay lying on my side facing the light, or lying on my back. If I turned over and faced away from the light the Kobo was more difficult to read from which does not happen with a book.

Pros: light and easy to hold while reading in bed especially compared to the chunksters I usually read (500+pages)

Cons: need to face a light source (this could be solved I am sure with the book light accessories available for Kobo)

I also really like that, for the most part, the selection of books available for the Kobo is just as good as books available in the Chapters store or from Chapters.ca. I looked up a few of the books on my personal TBR list: World Without End by Ken Follett- check, The Emperor's Tomb by Steve Berry- check, Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger- check. There was also some selection of professional reading books available for the Kobo including a those that are on my professional TBR list for this summer, but not all. The Book Whisperer by Donalyn Miller- check, Stones into Schools by Greg Mortenson- check. I am not too disappointed about the lack of professional reading available because I think I would prefer to have the actual book itself if I were going to be using it in my classroom.

Pros: Great personal book selection

Cons: not a lot of professional titles available (however, I did notice on my last visit to Stenhouse Publishing that they offer quite a few of their titles in e-book format and the Kobo uses e-pub which I believe supports a very wide variety of e-book formats so I may be able to get professional books from other sources, not just Chapters)

One huge draw to getting an ereader is that many libraries now offer ebooks for patrons to check out! Who knew? I love the world we live in. I looked into this at my local library and they do offer the service. It's super simple as well- you go online, check out the book and it "arrives" on your ereader. You don't need to "return" the book when you are finished, it simply expires from your ereader device. How cool is that? Now, if you are in the habit of reading new releases there may be a long wait time to get your hands on one of the library's copy of the book you want but this problem also occurs if you want to read new releases in print form from the library as well. If there is a new release I want to read badly enough I never wait for the 50+ people on the waiting list ahead of me I just buy it anyway, so they fact that there is a similar issue for new release ebooks doesn't really seem like a hug drawback to me.

Pros: ability to check out "free" books from the library

Cons: having to wait for new releases if there is a long waiting list and you don't want to buy it

So there are my thoughts so far on my week's worth of experience using the Kobo and starting to look into ereaders. I am going to post again soon about my research into the various ereaders available and which I think is right for me.

Adventures in Baby Wrangling

2011-06-02T18:19:00.000-04:00

It's been quite a week so far! We have been having adventures left, right and centre...

On Saturday we headed out into the Canadian wilderness to spend the day with my cousin and her 2 children while our husband's golfed (yes, it's golf widow season here in Ontario). My cousin's youngest child was turning one and she was having a party that night. It was nice just to hang out with her all day, even though Avery didn't do to well with her naps and ended up a little cranky by dinnertime.

The adventure part came in around lunchtime. I had put Avery in her bumbo and was preparing her bottle in the kitchen (it's an open concept so I could still see her, no worries!) Jamie was getting lunch ready for her 2 little ones- Jackson, who is 3 1/2 and Kaitlyn, the 1 year old birthday girl. We were chatting a little as we got everything ready and the next thing we knew a little voice piped up and told us that Avery liked raisins!!! Jackson had fed Avery, who is 5 months old a raisin from his plate. The 2 of us rushed over but it was gone, straight down the hatch! She didn't choke, never seemed upset and has lived to tell the tale.

Our second adventure was by far the most exciting..for me! I have been waiting forever and she finally did it. ROLLED OVER! Avery's last nap of the day is always her worst, sometimes she sleeps and sometimes she doesn't. It's usually a fight to get her to go down even though she yawns, rubs her eyes and is obviously tired. So we have started to just leave her in the crib to calm herself and see if that works to help her fall asleep...sometimes yes, sometimes no. Sunday was no because all of a sudden there were some really desperate cries coming through the monitor. When I arrived in her room she was on her stomach! That's right she rolled over, I think she scared herself, and started to cry. We have had a few more since then but it's definitely not a solid skill just yet but you can tell that she wants to keep trying. Love it.

Finally, our third adventure came on Monday while we were grocery shopping. I haven't really been able to find any shoes I like for Avery. My cousin has given me a bunch of shoes her daughter has outgrown but they are all either too big or too warm for our current warm streak! So I figured since it was 23 degrees out Avery didn't really need shoes, or socks to go out shopping. A woman in the grocery store disagreed. She felt the need to tell me this.....from across the produce section...that Avery's feet were cold and I should have put booties on her. That's right ACROSS THE PRODUCE SECTION. She didn't even touch her feet. I just smiled, said she was fine and walked away. Just like my momma taught me.

I am so excited about how big and grown up she is getting. Her little personality is coming out and her new thing is talking to herself while she sits or lies around. She has this little voice and sounds like she is trying to make little sentences. It's so cute and makes me giggle every time.

I like being a mom.

To e-read or not to e-read? That is the question.

2011-05-30T12:27:00.001-04:00

I have been tossing around the idea of getting an e-reader forever! I read very fast so whenever I go on a trip or even away for the weekend I usually have to take a couple (or more) books with me so the idea of just taking a e-reader with me is very intriguing. Especially since often the e-books are cheaper than the real thing.

On the other hand I LOVE books. I love the smell. I love the feel. I love how they look on my shelf. I just LOVE books. If I had an e-reader would I feel as though I needed to buy the book twice? One for the e-reader and once to put on my shelf? And what about sharing...can you share e-books?

I also like the idea of saving paper by reading from an e-reader....but am I just then wasting electricity?

So many questions and so few answers.

My sister has lent me her e-reader as she now has an Ipad and uses that to e-read. I am going to read with it for a bit and then get back to you with my thoughts...good and bad!

Do you e-read?? Tell me, tell me, tell me- do - I would love to know some other people's thoughts.

YESSSSSSS!!

2011-05-26T19:30:00.000-04:00

So I believe I have mentioned before that I am taking an online class to become qualified in Primary education which will enable me to teach grades 1-3...so exciting. I was initially very excited to take this course because I have spent so many years in the intermediate division that I had really forgotten a lot about teaching the little ones. I figured that this course could also really help with my grade 4 planning and programming, especially in the start of the year when the students are still essentially grade 3's.

The course has been going on for almost three weeks now and most of it has been an exercise in frustration. We have required to do the assigned readings, post answers to the questions and then comment on our fellow classmate's answers- easy peasy. But.... we are also required to work in groups to create a unit of study for one the assigned grades. I have done an online course before and online group work is not so fun, this experience has been no exception.

Long story short-

First, we had to pick the subjects and the expectations we wanted to cover for the assignment. I went through the curriculum documents and posted some that I thought would work. My two partners posted that they agreed. No discussion. No suggestions. Nothing.

Second, we had to create an enduring understanding and a big idea that would focus our lesson. I threw out some very vague statements that weren't very good. My partners posted that they agreed. No discussion. No suggestions. Nothing.

Third, we needed a title. This time I just asked what they thought it should be....they both posted that they couldn't think of anything.

Did I mention this was all happening three days after the start of the assignment and one day before the assignment was due? Yep, true story.

So our prof gave us an extension and the cycle began again.

I posted some more expectations hoping to spark a discussion and mentioned that we had been given an extension. One girl posted that she didn't even know we had missed the due date. I then posted that I had no problem compiling all our information (I mean, after all, I had created everything) but that we just needed a title. The other girl replied to that very posting asking if there was anything left to be done.

She replied to a posting that mentioned the work that needed to be done by asking what needed to be done.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

I emailed my prof and outlined my concerns and frustrations.

Thankfully, I have been given the option to complete this assignment independently. YES!!

It's amazing what passes for "professionalism" these days. Both of these girls are teacher's college graduates which means they are fully qualified to teach children.

Scary thought.

Here Comes The Sun...do da do da

2011-05-22T20:29:00.000-04:00

What a glorious day yesterday was! The sun was shining! The heat and humidity had arrived in southern Ontario! We took advantage of the sunshine to invite some friends over and take way too many pictures of our baby....love her. Here's a little photo essay of my family's Saturday together. I hope yours was just as sweet!

Tummy time

Mom's hair makes an awesome new toy now that we can grab and pull.

Yummy feet!

Test driving her high chair... loves it!

Ummm...drool.

Just a side note, people keep asking me if Avery is this happy and smiley all the time and the answer is....yes! I have no idea how but our baby is an eternal optimist and just happy to be alive...every day!!

Nope...

2011-05-20T15:59:00.002-04:00

...I haven't fallen off the face of the earth! It's been a busy couple of weeks.

I visited my parents last weekend with baby Avery and it was go go go for the entire time I was there! I went shopping sans babies with my cousin, had dinner with my grandma, helped host a wedding shower, went to my cousin's birthday party and had a get together with my childhood best friend so she could meet Avery and I could meet her newest little one. Whew!

Then I returned home with a fussy baby who as trying to settle back into her routine, an assignment due for my online course and a second assignment to start. The first assignment was individual and not so bad, the second is group work....online!! And it's been super frustrating so far. I just don't get online group work. We were supposed to have a general outline for our assignment today however, as of Wednesday NIGHT neither of my partners had posted ANYTHING!!!

I am looking foward to a long weekend here in Canada, hopefully some sunshine (no more rain) and time to blog....maybe.

Hope you are all having a great Friday too!

The List to End All Lists

2011-05-20T15:59:00.001-04:00

I have been obsessed lately with finding the best pictures books, well all books, so that Avery will have an unbelievable home library as she grows. I know that there are many parents and teachers out there reading this blog and I am hoping to get your help! I want to create a "must read" list of books for my little girl.

Here are a few of my faves...

Picture Books

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak
The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Suess
Red Fish, Blue Fish, One Fish, Two Fish by Dr. Suess
You Are My I Love You by Maryann Cusimano
Guess How Much I Love You by Sam McBratney

Ages 8-9+
The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling
Little House on the Prairie series by Laura Ingalls Wilder
A Cricket in Times Square by George Selden
Fudge-a-mania by Judy Blume
The Mouse and the Motorcycle by Beverly Cleary
BFG by Raoul Dahl
The Witches by Raoul Dahl
Matilda by Raoul Dahl
James and the Giant Peach by Raoul Dahl
Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh by Robert C. O'Brien

Ages 12+
The Outsiders by SE Hinton
The Hobbitt by JRR Tolkien
Anne of Green Gables series by LM Montgomery
The Lightening Thief series by Rick Riordan
The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

I am sure there are tonnes of others....and I'll keep adding to the list as we go!

I am going to keep this list up permanently over at my teaching blog, Thinking of Teaching, under a page of the same name- The List to End All Lists.

Things I Have Learned Since Becoming a Mom

2011-05-08T21:02:00.000-04:00

A few other bloggers out there have been posting today about the things they have learned since they became a mom, and I really like the idea. Here are my additions to the ever-growing list!

I have learned that...
1. Nothing is done on my time schedule any more.

2. I could kiss my baby's cheeks all day and never get tired of it or feel that I have kissed her enough.

3. Baby burps as a result of baby formula smell really bad.

4. A lot of my life revolves around poop. Did she poop enough? Too much? Not enough?

5. Staring at my baby is a bona fide recreational activity.

6. Parenting is stressful 25 hours-a-day (nope, that's not a typo).

7. Watching my parents become grandparents is super fun.

8. Babies create a lot of laundry.

9. My dog did become "just a dog". But I love him with the whole portion of my heart reserved for dogs.

10. I almost like shopping for baby clothes more than shopping for "me" clothes. Almost.

11. You can never take enough pictures of your baby.

12. Friends without babies don't really get it, even if they think they do.

13. My husband is a great dad and a fantastic husband.

14. Coffee is your friend. Your best friend.

15. Buying picture books never makes me feel guilty.

16. I want time to slow down and go faster at the same time.

17. My heart hurts when I look at Avery. She's mine, all mine.

18. Life is better with babies.

Moms, Moms, Moms

2011-05-06T11:18:00.000-04:00

From the moment I discovered I was pregnant I knew that my relationship with my mother would change, and change for the better. Looking back on the first months (you know, being in Avery's fourth month makes those days seem soooo long ago! LOL) I couldn't have made it through without my mom.

She came to stay for the whole first week of Avery's life. She cooked, she cleaned, she reassured, she cuddled and hugged (both Avery and me), she was a life-saver. Then when the second week of Avery's life was coming to an end and my husband was supposed to be heading back to work and I would be alone with Avery for the first time- she came back again. I had a melt down and she responded just like she always has. After that she was there for every question, worry, concern over the phone, email and Skype. I have never felt alone or without my mom once since I had my baby.

I have the utmost confidence that I will be a pretty good mom because I learned from one of the best. She has been a teacher, a confidant, a support, a coach, a shoulder to cry on, a mom.

She has taught me how to work hard for what I want.

She taught me how to read and love it.

She taught me to shop, and shop, and shop!

She is my friend.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. I love more than ever and hope that one day Avery feels about me the way I feel about you.

Seriously, stop already.

2011-05-04T08:03:00.001-04:00

My baby is too grown up. Already. In four months.

She is practically 50% bigger than when she was born.

There is a huge box of clothes that no longer fit her.

She can sleep all the way through the night most days.

My baby has started to turn herself around in her crib. That is her head is at the opposite end of the crib in the morning than where it was when we put her to sleep.

She doesn't immediately cry when we put her down for tummy time. She will even stay that way for quite a while.

Avery can easily grab at the things she wants dangling from her gym mat. She is fantastic at bringing Sophie the giraffe up to her mouth to chew on and on and on and on...

She laughs out loud every once in awhile. When we really do something funny.

My baby puts herself to sleep at almost every nap and bedtime.

There are days when I miss the little, tiny baby she used to be. It makes me heart ache. But most days I am so excited to see the person she is becoming. She is a happy, happy girl. Her smile is infectious and is easy to come by. She is very easy going, loves Dr. Suess books best of all, smiles when her Daddy comes home, likes a little cuddle before falling asleep.

This weekend will be my first Mother's Day as a mom and I can't believe it still. I am a mom. I have the privilege everyday of raising my daughter and taking part in her growth. I can't remember being this happy.

What a good looking family...if I do say so myself!

I am starting a new adventure...

2011-05-01T09:44:00.000-04:00

I have decided to start a blog that focuses directly on my teaching! This will be a place for me to share my ideas about teaching, lesson planning, resources that I love, teaching blogs that I read, etc, etc. I am also starting a course tomorrow in primary education and I hope to record all my thoughts on the strategies I can use to more effectively teach younger students now that I have moved down from the intermediate grades.

I would love for you to check it out!

Thinking of Teaching

Diaper Rash Makes Me Feel Like a Bad Mom

2011-04-29T20:47:00.000-04:00

It's been a Week. Yes, a capital W week. Nothing particularly bad happened, and nothing earth shattering took place but it was a Week. For no real reason I was tired every day this week, and before you can say "of course you were tired, you are taking care of a baby"... my baby slept straight through the night every night this week except last night. And I'm not talking "5 hours is through the night at this age", I'm talking 11 hours straight through the night. So really, I have reason to be tired and no reason to complain about being tired.

Maybe it was the endless dreariness and rain. Rain. Rain. Rain. It has rained and/or thunderstormed everyday this week. Seriously. April showers came in with a vengeance just to end off April with a bang, I guess. The poor dog had to wait to go out until my husband came home every day this week because really, you can't take baby out in a thunderstorm. It's just bad parenting.

We had two outings this week. We went to my husband's work on Monday and back to visit my old school (I started at a new school this past September) on Wednesday. Other than that Tuesday, Thursday and Friday were just hang out days at home. Yesterday we did have a visit from the cable repair man because the TV in basement and the TV in the bedroom have not been working. Right when he called to say he was here I was upstairs changing the baby so I told I would be down in a minute to let him in. Then Avery promptly peed all over herself. So I tried to deal with as quickly as possible while simultaneously trying to lock the dog in a room so he wouldn't jump all over the cable guy. Check and check. I let the cable guy in and explained the problem as best I could seeing as anything electrical in our house is not my area of expertise.

Now, unfortunately the cable guy had an accent and I am horrible at understanding people with accents. It's like my ears and my brain disconnect as soon as someone with an accent starts to talk. I feel so bad because I am constantly asking people with accents to repeat themselves. So with this small, but significant barrier to communication the cable guy started his work. Did I mention that the dog has started to howl from the upstairs room that I locked him in? No? Well, he did. Meanwhile I am running between the cable guy to try and understand his questions and then answer them with my limited knowledge and the baby who is getting bored with every place I put her. Gym Mat? No. Swing? No. Bouncy chair? No. In my arms? No. Dog still howling? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Eventually we got to the point where we had called my husband at work for help, one TV was working, the baby was now crying loudly and the dog was still howling. The cable guy gave me his cell phone number and said that when my husband is home to have him call. Yep. Will do.

Whew. Well, since that was done we went upstairs to let the still howling dog out of the room and change the baby again. And what happened dare you ask? Remember how Avery peed on herself before the cable guy came? Yep, you got she did it again...and poop! It's like she just waits for me to take the diaper away. It's gotten to the point now where she will poop and I will go upstairs to change her. However, once I clean her all up, get the bum nice and air-dried and the barrier cream in place Avery will poop again!!! I swear she knows what she is doing because she gives a little giggle every time too. We are practically going through 2-3 diapers at each change! GRRRR.

How did I remedy this situation you may ask? The best way possible...Avery and I snuggled together in the comfy chair for her afternoon nap. Nothing like baby snuggles to make everything better.

Thank goodness for weekends and husbands.

Rain Rain Go Away

2011-04-28T07:05:00.000-04:00

It's been three days of thunderstorms here and the constant dreariness is getting to us, well maybe not Avery, she is always pretty happy! We have a return of the diaper rash from a few weeks ago. The house is demanding to be cleaned. The cable TV isn't working.

We are in a state of general blahness. Come on Mother Nature! Bring on the spring.

MIA

2011-04-25T08:33:00.001-04:00

I know, I know...I have been missing in action.

Last week was a crazy week with my husband away Wednesday night at a doctor's appt, and then he started baseball on Thursday night so I had two full days of baby wrangling all by myself...which is exhausting. On Friday we were off to the in-laws for the Easter weekend and when we arrived home yesterday all I had the energy for was a nap!
BUT....

I have an interesting post planned very soon...something I think SB in particular will find hilarious.

Hope y'all had a great Easter weekend and didn't eat too much turkey/chocolate/etc!

40 bags in 40 days...hmmm, I love me some purging

2011-04-18T13:06:00.000-04:00

I recently read a post over at the Little Lucy Lu blog about a challenge called 40 bags in 40 days. The idea is to purge your house of 40 bags of unnecessary stuff in 40 days. The challenge originally calls for this to be done during the 40 days before Easter (Lent) however, I have already missed that boat! I am just going to start now and purge, purge, purge for the next 40 days.

Bec over at Little Lucy Lu created a list of all the places she would be purging from and since I also love making lists I am just going to jump on that bandwagon as well! My husband and I actually started some spring cleaning and purging on Saturday so I am going to back track my list to include all that great work we did on the weekend!

1. ~~Kitchen pantry~~
2. ~~Microwave cart~~
3. ~~Cupboard above the fridge~~
4. ~~Cupboard above the stove~~
5. Silverware drawer
6. Utensils drawer
7. Cupboard to the left of the sink
8. Cupboard to the right of the sink
9. ~~Pre-Maternity clothes~~
10. School resources stored at home
11. Craft supplies
12. Cupboard between the stairs
13. Credenza in guest room
14. Bookshelves in guest room (x 3)
15. Storage area beside the freezer
16. Blue trunk in the basement
17. Underneath the bathroom sink
18. Shelves in the laundry room
19. Boxes in the laundry room
20. School resources in the basement
21. Paper trail in the kitchen
22. Paper basket in the living room
23. Entertainment unit in the living room
24. ~~Book shelf in the living room~~
25. Bar area
26.

Well, maybe not 40 bags! That's all I can think of at this point but I am totally sure I will come up with more as I start the cleaning and purging. I am going to attempt to get it done in 40 days but if I don't make my deadline than I will just extend it. I mean really, what's really going to happen if it takes me longer? Nothing!!

I am already looking forward to a much cleaner, less cluttered house!

Look What I Can Do!

2011-04-16T14:17:00.001-04:00

I finished!! My first knitting project that is NOT a rectangle and I am super impressed and proud of myself. I feel like I am on a bit of a high and just want to keep on knitting and knitting and knitting! The possibilities are endless....

Remember it looked like this a few days ago...

and then it looked like this...

Finally, after some sewing together of the pieces it looks like this...

It's a bunny!!

I can't wait to make more for my sweet little girl.

I found this pattern from Lion Bran Yarn. They have a great site where you can access free patterns, buy yarn and other supplies and even watch videos to help you learn more about knitting and crochet.

The Big 4-0-0!

2011-04-15T07:54:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was my 400th post.

Wow.

Knitting, Knitting, Knitting!!

2011-04-14T12:48:00.000-04:00

Have you guessed yet?? Do you know what I am making?

Here's some more progress to help you guess...

Don't you love variegated yarn?

So I'll give you a little hint...if you go to Make it and Love It you will see an awesome book of knitting patterns by Rebecca Danger. She has been leading a 6 part series on how to knit and now that it is over she is giving away her fabulous book. My project is in the same genre as the projects in her book.

She also has an etsy store which you can find here and a blog which you can find here. I know for sure that if I don't win the pattern book then it will be first on my shopping list!!

All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned on the Internet

2011-04-13T17:59:00.001-04:00

Once you are done reading here be sure to pop on over to Paisley Passions for the Wandering Wednesday Blog Hop! There are many amazing blogs and some great crafting ideas to be found!

It's amazing what you can learn online...and I don't mean an online course, although they are great too, I mean from Google or YouTube.

Some of you may recall that about this time last year I went home to have my grandmother teach me how to knit. I started with a very simple scarf...and I am proud to say that scarf is DONE. It just under a year's time! LOL (oops! I really underestimated how tired I would be when pregnant and then with a newborn. Plus, as a new knitter I am pretty slow.

But I am happy to announce that I have finished the scarf AND an afghan I made for my sister's wedding gift. (On second thought, working on the afghan made have slowed up my work on the scarf, right?)

Anyway here is the very first scarf I've ever knit:

It started out as just teal a year ago but last week I got very tired of knitting a plain rectangle of teal and I wanted to try changing colours because I had never done that before. I must say that changing colours was easy but weaving in the ends was really difficult. I think I need to find a video on YouTube to help me with that!

Thank goodness it's still cool enough some days that maybe I can actually wear my scarf.

So now for the BIG project! I decided I wanted to knit my sister an afghan for her wedding so she would always have something that she could remember that I had given her. I found an easy pattern on the Lion Brand website and started it WAAAAAAAY back in the summer. It was originally supposed to be only one panel of knit/purl but when I finished the edges curled up and I thought it was too small.

So I decided to make two more panels for either side and to knit the outside 5 stitches on each edge to stop it from curling under....and then I had to sew it all together! Whew.

I must say I am super proud of completing this afghan on time!

So this is my next project in progress. Can you guess what it is?

So are you wondering yet what any of this has to do with the title of my post? Thought you might be. Teaching yourself how to knit is somewhat difficult especially if you are like me and are a visual learner. I love that I can put anything into Google or YouTube and find a video that shows me new knitting skills. Thanks to the internet I now know how to kfb, k2tog, work in St st, and many others!

Here's a little more progress..any guesses yet? I'll give you a hint...it won't be a rectangle when it's done! That's right I've moved beyond a scarf!

A Wonderful Weekend for a Wedding

2011-04-11T19:52:00.000-04:00

My sister's wedding this past weekend was a great time. There was plenty of family and friends. The sun came out to play and in time for pictures. Dancing, dancing, dancing. Here are some of the pictures from the 2-day affair!

Feeding the bride...matron of honour duties are never done!

Hair in rollers, it's a good look for me I think.

Junior bridesmaid takes over the babysitting duties.

Bride and the baby.

The best man brings the gift for the bride...

... and it's a diamond bracelet!

My finished hair!

Bouquets

Ceremony room

Wedding altar

Finished bride's hair

Vows!

Signing the registry

This is where I realized that my sister's status was listed as "spinster" in the registry book!

Awww!

Weddings are very tiring. very.

Beautiful bride.

Bride and groom

Cake

Father - daughter dance

All the cousins together for the first time in 6 years!

What a great time!

It's Here!!!

2011-04-08T08:28:00.002-04:00

My sister's wedding is finally here! We are heading off later today for all the festivities so I won't be posting this weekend (unless I find a free moment) but I will be back next week with loads of pictures and all the details.

Have a great one.

Expanding the List

2011-04-06T15:31:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been on the hunt for new blogs to read and follow. I have really been interested in looking for crafting blogs and new perspectives on things. I think I have gravitated more to blog reading these days because it's quick and easy. I can read a blog in between diaper changes and bottle feeding. I can read a blog while holding a baby in one hand. I am quite the multi-tasker, eh.

In order to find some new blogs today I am going to link up to Wandering Wednesdays over at Paisley Passions.

This is my first time participating in this blog hop (or any blog hop in awhile). I am really excited to see what I find, and to see who finds me!

In regards to my other reading, novels and the like, I have been doing pretty well even with a baby in tow. All those naysayers who told me while I was pregnant that I would never read again once the baby came...duh duh duuuuh!! were obviously wrong. I may have slowed down a little, seeing as I do not have full entire days to read, but I am still reading and can honestly say I haven't really even felt like I have lost that much time that I would usually devote to reading. Now that I am not working I don't have any lessons to plan, or assignments to mark so really I just replaced those activities with the baby and my reading time seems to have stayed relatively in tact. What will happen in the fall when I return to work is anybody's guess.

In the last few weeks I have completed a few really good books...so good in fact I am feeling a little in lurch as to what to read next. The first book was The Russian Winter by Daphne Kalotay. This book was actually a bargain buy at Chapters that I just happened to pick up and LOVED! Of course. I love anything that is historical fiction so this was right up my alley. I found myself mesmerized by the story of Nina Revskaya, a Russian ballerina who has decided to auction off all the jewelry that she collected over the course of her illustrious career. Nina began her career as a ballerina in Russia under the Stalin regime and thus the story's setting is one of intrigue, hardship and fear. The story alternates between Nina's present day life in Boston and flashbacks to her life in Russia. We are also introduced to Grigori Solodin, a professor of Russian literature whose own background is a mystery. He knows he was born in Russia before his adoption and he owns a piece of jewelry that matches some of those that Nina is auctioning off. The interplay between these characters and the historical setting made this one a fantastic page turner!

Secondly, I recently finished reading Rhett Butler's People by Donald McCaig. Loved. Loved. LOVED. IT. I am a huge fan of Gone With the Wind and this book has been on my TBR list for a while...I even started it awhile back but didn't get past the first few pages. The thing I liked best about this book is that Rhett was my favourite character from GWTW and I was never a huge Scarlett fan so..... this book was perfect for me. It tells the back story of Rhett and what happened in his childhood to make him the man that he eventually becomes, it also paints a very realistic picture of Scarlett (who, to be honest, was a pretty awful person for most of the book). I highly recommend this for anyone who is a Gone With the Wind fan.

Lastly, I am currently reading Harry, A History by Melissa Anelli. This is an inside look at the phenomenon of Harry Potter from the woman who runs The Leaky Cauldron which was the pre-eminent source for all new Potter during the hype surrounding the publishing of the books. I am a huge Harry Potter fan and have read through the entire series multiple, MULTIPLE, times. I am currently trying to decide if it's too early to start reading them aloud to Avery. She's 12 weeks old. :) I have wanted to read this book for quite awhile as well. Although, I am a huge Potter fan I never followed all the hype or have ever visited The Leaky Cauldron but was drawn to learn more about the phenomenon. I am finding the book wildly fascinating and have been reading every chance I get. I am looking forward to visiting some of the websites mentioned in the book and learn more about the Potter fandom after the fact!

After that...who knows? Any suggestions for what I should read next?

Good Morning Monday!

2011-04-04T07:44:00.000-04:00

Well, if you live in Sounthwestern Ontario than you woke up this morning to torrential rain. Okay, maybe not torrential but a whole heck of a lot and this was after a beautiful Saturday with spring-like temperatures and sunshine, a pretty good Sunday and a snowstorm Sunday evening. Seriously, Mother Nature? What's your problem?

But here inside my cosy little house things are going well. The baby is down for her first nap of the day, and her best one. Why is it that she is able to sleep the longest in the morning after just having slept through the night? Strange, right? Anyway, I am here drinking my morning coffee...gotta love the Keurig machine and deciding whether to stay up or try to get a few more zzzzz's myself.

Such a conundrum.

Stats and Other Interests

2011-04-01T15:51:00.000-04:00

I find looking at the stats of my blog endlessly interesting. It never ceases to amaze me that people out there are at all interested in what I have to say and even more fascinating is that many of the page views are for posts from the past...how do people find this posts unless they are followers and want to look back? Interesting, interesting.

I really do wish that people would comment more on my blog. I never really seem to have too many comments except for the dedicated few (SB, Diane, etc) that have followed from the beginning. I think a part of it may be that my blog is about nothing these days. When I first started writing and reading blogs I was mostly interested in doing so in order to find other books bloggers and I posted about my own reading. My blog and it's contents have evolved and I totally understand that the book bloggers out there that I used to converse with so frequently may not be so interested in what I am saying these days since it so rarely (or never) has anything to do with books.

I have been thinking quite a lot about my blog and what it is about. Like my title says, it's about thinking and mostly what I think...but is that enough to really get people interested enough to follow my blog and to comment on a regular basis? It seems not. I think I have fallen off on the frequency with which I comment on other people's blog and that may have lead to the decrease in new followers, as well as the comments coming in from current followers. I am sorry for that. I think I will make it my new goal to comment on at least one blog everyday. If I want people to comment on my blog than I should be commenting on their as well.

I have found myself reading and following a lot more blogs that have to do with parenting, children, and crafting these days. It seems my interests have shifted with my new lot in life as a stay at home mom. More often than not these days I am looking for an outlet with which to express myself and to keep my mind working. I am very used to being busy, busy, busy and sometimes I find that staying here at home with my lovely baby just isn't as mentally stimulating as one would hope. Of course there are the days where I couldn't possible think about anything but the baby but those hard days are becoming fewer and fewer as I get more confident and the baby gets older. There are many days now that I find myself wanting to more in between the feedings and play times with Avery.

If someone asked me what my blog was about, what would I say? What would you say if asked?

Daddy's Love

2011-04-01T09:43:00.000-04:00

Check this out! Everyday since the start of the school year this Dad has been dressing up to wave at his 15 year-old son's school bus in the morning. It started as a joke to embarrass his son and now it's just fun for everyone. He's on day 132 and has worn a different costume everyday, but he needs ideas so if you have any go to the blog and help him out!

Wave At The Bus

I wonder what he will dress up as next?

Growing, Smiling...so close to laughing

2011-03-30T08:30:00.000-04:00

Here's my baby-- just growing like a weed!

Ohhh, the many faces of my heart.

Learning, Learning, Learning

2011-03-29T08:29:00.000-04:00

I have decided to take a course this spring to become qualified to teach Grade 1-3. I really feel that this will give me something to do during the day that's not baby related and keep my mind going. I am a huge multi-tasker normally and always had a lot on the go when I was working. I am finding that being at home for maternity leave, while fun and I love being with my little baby, is not as mentally stimulating as my working life. Perhaps this is why I find myself worrying about every little thing.....?

I am also going to start some more crafting projects very soon. Right now I am frantically trying to finish my knitting project that is destined to be my sister's wedding present next week. I will post pictures when I am done and AFTER I have given it to her just to make sure the surprise isn't ruined. I must say, however, that for my first major knitting project I am pretty proud of myself.

I knew coming into this maternity leave that keeping my mind busy would be one of my biggest challenges. I have never even really taken an entire 2 months off in the summer. I have always taught summer school, or the year I got married I was busy getting all the last minute details in place. I am hoping that by taking this course I will not only find a way to keep myself busy and thinking, but I will continue to grow as an educator. It's very important to me to always continue learning about my profession, not only to be a better teacher but to consistently set an example for my students. If I expect them to always be learning then I should be as well. I have even more incentive for this now that I have a child too.

I hope Avery has a love of learning and a desire to learn all that she can over the course of her life. If my husband and I can foster that in our child I think we will be well on our way to being good parents. I want Avery to devour books. To learn about and from other people. To engage in all sorts of new activities.

I want her to want to learn everyday of her life.

Don't Worry!

2011-03-28T21:05:00.000-04:00

Well, my 11 week old baby is sleeping 11 hours through the night.

I know, crazy right?

Change is in the air...

2011-03-21T19:53:00.000-04:00

Warning...this post may not make sense to many people other than me, I see a rambling post in my future.

My husband and I have been talking about making some changes in our life. Nothing concrete yet. Nothing even that realistically resembles a plan but dreams none-the-less. It's not really anything I can, or want, to talk about in details yet but the possibility is super enticing.

It would mean some great opportunities for our little growing family. It could mean more leisure time together, less commuting, more extended family, less city, more green. It could mean many things.... and it could be nothing.

It's hard not to get my hopes up, but I may have already leapt over that line. It's a change I never thought possible and so never really even considered. And then my husband came home and everything went all topsy-turvy.

I promise that if anything ever comes to fruition I will let y'all know....I won't be able to stop crowing from the rooftops.

But for now, it's a quiet little dream just tucked away in my back pocket.

St. Patrick's Day- Retro Style

2011-03-18T09:06:00.000-04:00

First...I meant to post this yesterday but the day just got away from me...

Four years ago my St. Patrink's Day celebrations were much different from this year's.

It was just a few short months before our wedding and we were having our Buck and Doe...obviously this meant a trip to the Beer Store.

Mike and I in our St. Paddy's Day finery.

Antics in the kitchen...alcohol may have played a part in this picture.

Celebrating with good friends.

Many people had a good time. Some people had too good of a time.

Mike entertains his mother in law to be!!

The best man.

College friends reunited.

There are many, many pictures...we could be here all day. I can't believe it's been four years since that day...time sure does fly. I wouldn't change anything about the last four years, the good or the bad. However, this year's celebrations were much more low key, in fact I didn't really even remember. I did, however, get to spend the day with a beautiful little girl.

Both days were fun, but I wouldn't trade this year's for that day four years ago. It's amazing to me how much our life changes. When Mike and I were married we were pretty convinced that we didn't want children and stuck to our guns for three years. Then last year, while away on March Break with my best friend I really started to think about. I watched families on the beach in Florida and I realized that I wanted that too.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Falling in Love

2011-03-14T20:56:00.000-04:00

I knew that I would fall in love with my baby when she was born. How could I not? I did not know that I would fall even more in love with my husband. Why didn't I know that? I should have.

Everyday is an exercise in heart thumping love when I watch him interact with our little girl. He delights in the merest of smiles. He exults in her every gurgle and coo. He loves her even more than he loves me and it makes me love him even more than I did before.

Right now he is upstairs putting our little girl to bed. We have developed a routine where he feeds her and bathes her and puts her to bed in the evenings since I see her all day long. Not only does it give me a little break, but he gives him time to spend just with her. Sometimes everything goes smoothly and she drifts off to sleep basked in her father's love and adoration. Other nights it takes a little longer and both dad and baby are a little frustrated before sleep is achieved. But he does it.

And I try not to go upstairs and butt in...because let's face it, I am a control freak. If there was ever any doubt of this fact before it as all been erased now that I have a child and I obsess over every little things that goes wrong... and right!

The thing that I love best about my husband's new role as a father is that he is willing to do things he never would have before. He had never changed a diaper before Avery was born, but he dove right in there are changed the very first one in the hospital. He is even getting better with the poopy ones. We had a small incident on Saturday morning where he called me in to help because he couldn't handle the smell...but after some light teasing, he changed a similar stinky one on Sunday all by himself (with minimal gagging!).

As I sit here he is upstairs reading our little girl a story. My husband is not a reader. In fact, I am not sure I have ever seen him pick up a book voluntarily. However, he will do it for our little girl. Listening to a grown man read a story book might be the sweetest thing in the world.

The past nine weeks have been an education in love. Love for my baby daughter and an even deeper love for my husband.

Thinking Topics

2011-03-10T14:54:00.000-05:00

It has suddenly, not so suddenly, occurred to me that after 2+ months of being home with baby, plus 3 weeks prior to the arrival of the baby, that I may be losing my ability to hold my end of an interesting conversation.

I feel a little devoid of conversation topics that would hold the interest of any adult that is not my baby's grandmother (that's you mom) or my husband (the baby's father). I suppose I could start reading the paper everyday...you know if they added more hours to the day. I could watch the news more frequently. I could start reading non-fiction books.

But really? Will I? Probably not.

Hmmm...

Loop de Loop

2011-03-09T10:48:00.000-05:00

I am a fully functioning adult.

I make decisions on my own all the time. Everyday in fact.

I am in control of my own life, where it has been and where it is going.

Yet, I do not control when my daughter wants to eat, wants to sleep, wants to play, etc.

Or in the case of last night, when my daughter doesn't want to eat! According to our routine of the last few days, at 6pm when Avery woke up she would be ready to eat, have her bath and settle down to sleep for night. However, as we tried to give her the bottle she screamed bloody murder as if we were attempting to hurt her. There was no consoling her and no getting her to eat. Mike finally settled her down and she drifted back to sleep...only to wake up at 7:30 feed normally, smile and charm us with her wiles. Seriously!!

It's been 8 weeks and I am fully convinced this child will be the death of me...worry, stress, concern- that'll be the cause of death to be sure.

Just when I thought I was becoming a calm and go with the flow type mom Avery throws this curve ball at me, and I know everyone says that this will happen. Just as soon as you think you have it down pat everything will change...but who refuses to eat?

I know I have posted on this topic before, but it still continues to amaze me how one little baby can so drastically change your outlook on life. Nine weeks ago I would have described myself as a confident, competent adult who could fully deal with any crisis handed to her.

Now, I feel like I am a quivering mess most of the time. Oh, I put on a good face (sometimes). I even made it through last night's incident without crying (a big deal for me), but deep down inside I wonder if I am doing any of this parenting stuff right.

Does that ever go away?

Routine? What

2011-03-03T10:00:00.000-05:00

So I am an organized person. I like my day to go as planned. I like to know what's going to happen in my day and when it is going to happen. I like to be able to plan ahead for any emergencies or unexpected occurrences.

I am not good at the unknown.

That is not to say that I am not flexible, I am. I can go with the flow...as long as I know ahead of time that going with the flow is the plan. Does that make sense?

Having a 7 week old baby, who has no routine that is even remotely similar to the day before is driving me crazy. I worry. I fret. I think, and think, and think.

She is supposed to go three hours between feeds--- yet most of the time it's only been 2.

She can sleep for up to 6 hours at night without a feed. But sometimes it's only 3 hours.

She has started to escape from her swaddle when asleep and doesn't always like it. However, her arms and legs flail at an alarming rate when she is not swaddled and it wakes her up.

She is the most beautiful thing I have even seen. Period.

Being a mom is wonderfully frustrating. Wonderfully.

Baby feet...

2011-02-27T18:44:00.001-05:00

Baby feet keep me happy during a week long growth spurt.

Hmmmm, baby feet.

Good Morning Week 8!

2011-02-27T08:13:00.000-05:00

Can you believe my baby is 7 weeks old today? Part of me feels like she has been here forever and I can't imagine my life without her. Another part me is wondering how I have made it this long. Yet another part of me thinks it is flying by all too fast already.

Some milestones we have reached:

... Avery is smiling and cooing at us when we make noises and talk to her. It's awesome.

... We have already had to put away some clothes that are too small for her. So sad.

... There have been a couple of nights where Avery has gone 5 or 6 hours between feeds. The sleep was amazing.

... We are going to the doctor tomorrow for our first non-checkup visit. It's an eye infection that makes me worry, and worry, and worry. Although she seems completely carefree about it.

... We survived our first over night visit last weekend at my parent's house, which also means we survived our longest care ride to date- 3.5 hours.

And we continue to be in love, love, love!

Really?

2011-02-24T19:05:00.000-05:00

My husband and I are watching the news and they are showing stuff about Will and Kate's upcoming wedding. We were casually talking about them and I mentioned that I thought Harry was much better looking than William. To which my husband replied...

"Really, even though he is a ginger?"

Ummm, hello?

I answered back, "I married a ginger. You."

Husbands are funny people.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

2011-02-24T17:05:00.000-05:00

Just when I think I have the hang of things something throws a wrench in the plans. We had had a few nights or 5 hours between feeds and I was really starting to feel good about things.

Then........

WHAM!

6 week growth spurt. Le sigh.

At least I get to look at this all day!

Great, right?

Welcome to the World Avery girl!

2011-02-17T19:38:00.000-05:00

So, the story of how my little Avery came into the world...all for you SB!

As some of you may remember, I had an ultrasound before Christmas because my fundal height measurement was too small one week, and then decreased the next week. Even though that ultrasound was fine my midwife wanted me to go for a check-up after the holiday just to make sure. At that ultrasound I was told that everything was fine AND the tech wanted me to go straight up to labour and delivery because my amniotic fluid was low. So that happened on a Wednesday and during our time in the hospital we decided not to be induced but to wait until Friday and see what happened. Friday rolled around and my schedule ultrasound was at 2:00, however, around 10 in the morning I started counting baby kicks and noticed that I had not felt 6 kicks in the 2 hours as recommended...so back into the hospital we went.

Another non-stress test. Another visit with the midwife. Another offer to be induced. After talking with our midwife we decided once again to wait and see if this baby would come on her own, but if she hadn't by Sunday morning I would be induced and it was scheduled. At this point my contractions had started and I was pretty hopeful that I would soon be a mom!!

Saturday morning rolled around and I still wasn't feeling any kicks. The midwife came out to the house to examine me and see how far things had progressed....not very far as it turned out. So I continued to have contractions and wait, and wait, and wait. Of course, during all this waiting I was quite worried because...still no kicks!

On Sunday morning we were called by the hospital to come in to be induced around 10 am. We arrived and we hooked up for another non-stress test. The OB on duty was fantastic...he was so informative and pro-choice he could have been a mid-wife. He also had a resident with him who was learning about labour and delivery so has a teacher who has taught student-teachers it was pretty interesting. Anyway...everything was discussed and it was decided that because I had been having contracting since Friday, the baby hadn't been moving, I was worrying about the baby not moving and the low amniotic fluid an induction was the best course.

This meant I would be transfered from the care of my midwife to the OB however. I wasn't too excited about this because I had been with my midwife for 9 months and having someone I knew and trusted at the birth was a big part of the reason I chose to have a midwife in the first place!

So I was admitted to the hospital and induced at 2:00pm. This really got my contractions going and despite my intentions of not getting an epidural....I gave in at 5:00pm. After that it was pretty smooth sailing! My midwife actually came back to support me and my husband during the delivery...which was amazing and really helpful. I felt much better just knowing that she was there. My sister also came as my second support person, after my husband, so I was pretty much surrounded by people that cared for me and knew me.

At 11:18pm the littlest love of my life arrived and changed my whole world forever.

And I wouldn't change anything about it!

Hope you enjoyed the photos! These are the newborn photos we had done by the same amazing photographer who did our maternity photos. Michelle Kiefer Photography

Getting Out of Dodge

2011-02-13T14:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was our first road trip out of our general living area. Mom, Dad, Avery and Kahne packed up the SUV and headed north to visit the grandparents. This was Avery's first trip in the car that was longer than 10-15 minutes. It was also our first trip having both the baby and the dog in the car together. We wanted to use this trip as a trial run for next weekend when we are going home to my parent's house for family Christmas (yes, in February) and my sister's wedding shower.

Bundled up and ready to brave the elements.

My husband's parents live about 40 minutes away so this was going to be a pretty good trial. Unfortunately, we hit a tonne of snow on the trip up which made things a little dicey but we made it there safe and sound and had a lovely visit.

Avery was on her best behaviour, no cluster feeding or crying, just a lot of snuggling and cuddling...especially a nice nap with Grandpa.

She did, however, have most of her naps interrupted which led to a very over-tired little girl when we got home last night. We started trying to put her down for a nap around 5:30 after we got home and she had been fed. Four and half hours later after more feedings, cuddles, rocking, singing and walking Avery finally fell asleep for an extended period of time (longer than 10 minutes!). Poor little girl. She had a busy week with an outing everyday and yesterday she reached her limit.

Today has been a much quieter day with lots of naps and cuddles. I had 2 long sleeps last night...and by long I mean 4 hours uninterrupted!! Whoo hoo. And today I am feeling well-rested. Well-rested enough to cleanup the house a little, tackle some laundry and even write a blog post. How's that for a productive mommy?

Today is 5 weeks. Imagine. Five weeks ago today I met the love of my life. There are times when I just can't stop staring at her. She is amazingly beautiful. I have been a mom for 5 weeks. Wow.

The dog, however, not always as excited as I am about the baby and he tries to sneak in an extra snuggle when it's not the best of times. Still, we love him too.

Note to S.B.: I am working on a post about Avery's birth as requested!

A Certain Lack Thereof

2011-02-08T12:16:00.000-05:00

So, after 4+ weeks of staying home with Avery I am starting to feel pretty confident in my ability to handle all this and we even took a short trip to the mall yesterday...just us!

However, I am feeling like my ability to converse with adults is slipping away. I mean, I spend all day talking to a) no one, or b) talking to a 4 week-old (4 weeks! can you believe it). I have never felt that I was particularly good at small talk and I tend to get very shy and nervous when I am in a large group of people. A new friend commented awhile back that she was surprised at how quiet I was when there are lots of people around because it was so different than how I am one on one. I am worried that after 8 months of mat leave I will be even worse!

My days so far have consisted on talk shows, the Food network, HGTV, or watching shows I PVR'd from the night before. I have been reading still, OF COURSE, but not at the same pace I used to. In between all that I am changing diapers, nursing and rocking my lovely baby to sleep. Not exactly scintillating conversation, right?

I think part of my problem stems from the fat that I have never lived alone, I have never really spent more than one month in the summer off work (I have taught summer school or gone to camp) and I have always been busy. I am, however, a bit of a loner and I did spend a lot of time in the evenings and on weekends by myself but that was always after a long week of teaching and being around people.

I guess it all boils down to me trying to figure out who I am on mat leave. What are my interests now? What will excite me during the day...other than cuddling with my baby, of course?

Sneak Peek

2011-02-06T18:48:00.000-05:00

The photographer we hired to do newborn photos of Avery sent us one picture as a sneak peek today...

and now I am DYING to see the rest.

http://michellekiefer.com/

Meet Me on Monday

2011-01-31T15:13:00.000-05:00

I have discovered an interesting new meme hosted by Never Growing Old- Meet Me on Monday!

Here's how it works: 5 questions will be posted every Sunday and then you answer them on your blog. Easy peasy. It's an interesting idea seeing as so many of us read each others blogs and feel like we know each other as friends but this is a way to get down to the nitty gritty details of knowing someone. Sounds like fun.

Here are this week's questions:

1. What do you put on your hot dog?

First of all, I LOVE hot dogs. Especially if it's street meat or from a ball park. I always have ketchup, mustard and mayo on mine. Sometimes I will add dill pickles and cheese depending on my mood, and I have never been known to turn down a chili cheese foot long, especially if it's from Chuck's in my hometown.

2. Do you play Sudoku?

Nope...I do like crosswords though.

3. What is your favourite vegetable?

I have to pick just one? I really like vegetables. I guess I would have to say corn on the cob since it's a special time of year thing and I grew up in South Western Ontario.

4. Do you colour your hair?

Yep!! Not so much in the last year since I was pregnant, but I am looking forward to some updating really soon. I am, however, lucky enough so far (knock on wood) not to have a need to colour my hair.....hopefully, I am not testing fate here! I am naturally a brunette, but in the past I have been pretty blonde, had some red, had highlights, lowlights...you name it.

5. What is your favourite brand of clothing?

I am not really sure I have a favourite brand of clothing. I buy a lot of stuff from a lot of places and I am a bargain hunter. I really enjoy a good sale!

Morning #1

2011-01-31T11:51:00.000-05:00

Here we are! Morning #1 on my own.... and to be totally honest I was scared out of my mind in the last few days leading up to this. What if I was only good at this because I had back-up? (Thanks Mom!) What if I broke down at the first sign of something hard? How would I eat breakfast?

It's now 11:30 and Avery is having her first nap of the day. She has become a pretty good night sleeper, usually at least 3 hours between feeds and I am able to get a total of at least 6-7 hours over the stretch each night. Once morning hits, though, she is ready to be awake and check things out. At only three weeks she is already so alert and looking at all sorts of things in our house. She is still cluster feeding on occasions, like this morning, but I have ready umpteen number of articles about cluster feeding on the internet over the past 3 weeks to realize that it's normal and just to go with it. So from 7:30 to 10:40 this morning we hunkered down and fed every hour. In between we had some diaper changes, some tummy time, a long stretch in her swing while I hurried around a did a few little things I wanted to get done.

Now we are 30 minutes into a nap! And I did it all by myself.

Maybe I can do this...!

On Becoming a Mom

2011-01-30T16:25:00.001-05:00

My mom went home today. I was a little sad. Okay, a lot sad but I managed to keep a stiff upper lip, which is pretty impressive in these days of raging postpartum hormones if I do say so myself. My mom has been a lifesaver since Avery was born.

She and my dad immediately drove up to our place when the difficulties started with the amniotic fluid the week before her birth. She stayed for the entire first week Avery was here. She cooked. She cleaned. She changed diapers. She swaddled. She rocked and cooed and loved up that little bundle of a granddaughter. And then she went home.

Act 2...

My husband was off work the second week of Avery's life to help me and it was great to have him home to help, but as the week started to wind down and we got closer to the day I would be home alone with the baby I started to get more and more nervous. Until one night I had a complete break down that ended with a phone call to my mom and her promising to come back for another week.

Act 3...

And so she came back and again, cooked, cleaned, changed diapers, etc, etc and generally helped me to feel a lot more confident about being able to do this on my own. She remained calm in the face of every one of my breakdowns and cry fests. She didn't hesitate to get out of bed in the night if I needed her. She made multiple trips to the grocery store to get anything we needed, or wanted, for dinners and lunches.

In a sentence...she was sent from heaven.

I can only hope that in the years to come I can be the sort of mom she has been to me. The sort that teaches her daughter the importance of having her own voice. That teaches her daughter she can do anything she wants...but she'll have to work, and work hard, for it. That teaches her daughter that nothing comes easily, and if it does it probably isn't worth it. That never hesitates to say "I love you", to give hugs, kisses, cuddles. That has become one of my closest friends.

So tomorrow is the day I start doing this mom thing all on my own. I know there'll be good days, and not so good days, but I am confident my mom has taught me how to deal on my own (not to say there won't be days that I will still call home...'cause for sure that's going to happen).

Thanks Mom for everything. And a big thanks to Dad for driving the 3 hours here and back every weekend for the past 4 weeks...you're pretty awesome yourself.

Friends...wow

2011-01-23T11:20:00.000-05:00

There is nothing better than good friends. Except maybe my baby...okay, my baby is definitely better but friends (and family) rank a very close second.

I have received so much support and love from all corners since giving birth to Avery my heart hurts.

I have long said that you know if you have a good friend when you can go days, weeks, months and even years without talking and then when you do find yourself talking again it's like no time has passed at all. That's exactly what it has been like with my friend Brian. We met many, many moons ago when I was just a mere 15 years old...seriously that's like 16 years ago! Wow. We worked together at a summer camp for just one summer, two short months and yet here we are still friends. There were many, many years where we lost touch and had a thousand different experiences but have somehow managed to reconnect through the magic of blogging and Facebook.

I have been reading Brian's blog, The Zoey Blog, for awhile now and have made it one of my life's goal to be as good a parent as Brian and his wife, June, are to their beautiful little girl Zoey. And here I am in my second week of being a mom and there is Brian already cheering me on.

Thanks friend.

Doubts, Doubts and More Doubts

2011-01-21T13:18:00.000-05:00

I am usually a pretty confident person. Actually, I would say I am a very confident person. And optimistic. However, becoming a mom and having a baby to care for has rocked my world. I am worried ALL THE TIME!

Am I doing this right? Should I be doing that?

This person says this? That person says that?

Is she eating enough? Is she eating too much?

Is she peeing and pooping enough? Too much? What does it look like?

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Less than two weeks and I am driving myself crazy. Some days we have a fantastic schedule of sleeping, eating, tummy time and just staring soulfully into each other's eyes. Other days we cluster feed for 5 hours at a time until I am exhausted beyond belief.

My mom was here last week to help and my husband took this week off so I have had a lot of support. The original plan was that Mike would go back to work next Monday and I would be on my own. However, after a few sleepless nights, mornings AND afternoons I asked my mom to come back again next week.....and then I immediately felt guilty that I couldn't handle it on my own. There are so many people that have to do it on their own from Day 1 and here I am, after 2 weeks of support asking for more.

I feel as though I should be able to do it on my own. Then when I think about it, I get weepy and teary.

It's hard to believe it's only been 12 days. Avery is the best thing I have ever done....and the hardest. Every time I look at her my heart hurts with love and then the worrying starts anew. Everyone says it gets better and I certainly hope so. There are moments when I have finished a feeding, settled Avery down to nap, put a load of laundry in the washer and managed to eat a snack and I think to myself, "Wow, I can totally do this Mom thing."

I just want those moments to be more frequent and closer together.

Plans

2011-01-18T14:19:00.000-05:00

I have plans for long and lengthy blog posts.

I also have plans for long and lengthy naps.

Unfortunately, my schedule is not my own these days and Avery has decided to cluster feed at random times during the day.....AND night. Sleep and I are experiencing a painful separation and absence is making the heart grow much, much, much fonder.

For now, I will have to satisfy you with this lovely picture of my girl.

Knowledge is Power

2011-01-13T18:27:00.000-05:00

Some things I have learned in the 4 days since I became a mom:

1. You can survive on very little sleep.

2. A banana can be considered a meal.

3. Breastfeeding is hard. Very hard. (And kind of hurts at the start)

4. Midwives are angels brought to earth by the gods.

5. My baby is so beautiful it breaks my heart.

6. My mom is a lifesaver. I will never be able to thank her enough. Ever.

7. I love my baby more now than when I started this post.

8. Too many people want to visit (and kind of expect to be able to) too soon.

9. Water. I drink a lot of it.

10. Epidurals are your friend.

And.....

11. My baby has completely stolen my heart.